'No' RSVPs showing up?
more by ES123
Doing too much?
How many of you actually like your in laws?
more in Emotional
Do your families get along?
Who makes this tie?
more in Boards
Where to get cute/cheap programs, place cards, and menus

Bridal guilt?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,020 posts
    Bumble bee
    ES123    April 25, 2009   Laurel, MD

    I'm wondering if any of you have felt this way...and what you did about it.

    My bridal shower is tomorrow, and I'm starting to feel really guilty about the amount my bridesmaids must be spending. Obviously I have no idea how much it is (I just know the time and place), but they are basically hosting a brunch at a fancy hotel, and I found out today there's an open bar. There are probably around 15 people coming to this shower....but this has to be super expensive! I have no idea how much they make but I'm worried they are over-extending themselves. They have also planned a very nice bachelorette party for a few weeks from now...

    I am off-setting costs as much as I can (paying for hair and make-up, they chose their shoes and jewelry). They also live locally, so that helps some. I am just worried that they are trying to so hard to make it the nicest ever that they are spending waaay too much!

    Attachments

    1. Bridal guilt? :  wedding shower bachelorette party money bridesmaids Img 100_2387.jpg (2381.4 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Bridal guilt? :  wedding shower bachelorette party money bridesmaids Img 100_2359.jpg (1325.5 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old
     
    2.
    Hostess
    2,606 posts
    Sugar bee
    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    I was worried about this as well, so I was upfront with my maids that I wanted a simple and minimally expensive shower and bachelorette- no fancy venues, no overnight hotel stays, no spas, etc.

    So my shower was at my MOH's mom's house with just cold salads and sandwishes and my bachelorette was a bar with martinis and manicures ($10 got you the cocktail and the mani) and then dinner at a very reasonable restaurant and dessert at a cool chocolate place that was also really reasonable.

    It's too late for the shower, but if you are genuinely concerned, then state clearly that you don't want them to throw an expensive bachelorette party.

     
    3.
    Member
    2,655 posts
    Sugar bee
    Tanya123      

    I totatlly read the post as "Bridal Quilt"!  LOL, like I was going to say, I've been to a reception where guests wrote on quilt squares, sounds good. 

    Anyway, yeah, what can you do about the shower?  And maybe they aren't spending as much as you think.   Maybe someone got a discount through a contact or work or whatever.  Or maybe they wanted to put a little something extra into it, because of the costs you are covering for them.  Thank them with some nice hostess gifts.

     
    4.
    Hostess
    2,188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Erindesmar    October 17, 2009   Boston, MA

    I am curious how your shower went!! 

    I think it is natural to feel a little "spoiled" around your shower/bachelorette/wedding.  Remember that your friends and family love you and are trying to honor you and embrace it!  As long as you have not made crazy demands on them for specific venues, meals, etc., than I would not worry about it too much.  

    If you do feel uncomfortable by the amount spent on you at your shower, I would have a chat with your MOH before your bachelorette (if you haven't had one already) to let them know that it is not how much they spend on you, but the fact that you will all be together, that makes the event special!

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,020 posts
    Bumble bee
    ES123    April 25, 2009   Laurel, MD

    Tanya - when I saw the link, it did look like bridal quilt. A good idea for a shower, but not really what happened.

    Well, Erindesmar, the shower was really lovely. I found out later there was an issue with the payment at the end, but my mom came in and was able to give them some money toward the cost (she was feeling guilty, too!). Also, I asked them to just have me pay my share for the bachelorette party (they had been planning on all chipping in for me). Doesn't help A LOT with what they're spending, but at least I don't have to feel badly that they're spending on me.

     
    6.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,492 posts
    Bumble bee
    amysue    6/6/09  

    Wow -- what sweet friends to really try and make you feel as special as possible, and what a sweet bride to be sensitive to her friends! I'm glad you had a great time and that any snags were smoothed over.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ellisrobertson 24
    fishbone 22
    ndreighton 18
    Samantha7 16
    Brielle 16
    ladyartichoke 15
    rdownie1 15
    MsPanda 14
    aduarte3201 14
    mypinkshoes 13

    Emotional

    User Posts Today
    sylvia.riggle 5
    peachacid 5
    smcs28 3
    Zouave 3
    HollyCJ 3
    blueskies7 3
    armychica06 2
    imageeksowhat 2
    BellaDee 2
    tenacity 2
    More