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Bridal party and wedding gifts.

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Do you expect gifts from the members of your bridal party?
    Hellz yes - they love me so they should WANT to buy me a gift. : (5 votes)
    13 %
    I am neutral - it would be nice, but I won't say anything either way. : (22 votes)
    55 %
    No way - they are spending enough of their money - being beside me that day is gift enough : (13 votes)
    33 %
    Other (let us know what you think) : (0 votes)
  •  
    1.
    Member
    2,630 posts
    Sugar bee
    Ms Mini    July 17, 2010   Medicine Hat, AB

    I have noticed a few threads on the boards regarding bridal parties and wedding gifts. 

    I have been in a few weddings, so has FH, and in the weddings we have been in the bride and groom made it clear that gifts were in no way expected from the bridal party (since you spend so much for dresses/tuxes/hair/makeup/accessories/travel/parties).

    I thought this line of thinking is really common, so I am surprised at people who are concerned about bridal party members who don;t buy a gift or buy them a modest gift.

    I have made sure that our bridal party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) are not expected to purchase any wedding or shower gifts.

    What do you think?

     
    2.
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    1,476 posts
    Bumble bee
    Selene221    October 31, 2012  

    Gifts are completely optional. If the attendants want to give gifts on top of their other expenses, that is entirely up to them. No one should be expecting gifts in the first place. Yes they're nice but are by no means required. No couple should be upset if their attendants can't afford anything else, even if they keep the thought to themselves. On the same token, there should not be any mention made to the attendants that gifts are not required, as that is a given and it is considered rude to bring up in conversation.

     
    3.
    Member
    1,444 posts
    Bumble bee
    Talishazwi    January 16, 2011   Seattle, WA

    I've also been suprised when posters are upset they didn't receive a wedding gift.  I do think it's still customary to bring one for the bridal shower. 

     
    4.
    Hostess
    4,169 posts
    Honey bee
    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    I guess for me, I'm in a position to be involved in a wedding and give the happy couple an additional gift ($).  Like last year,  I was a bm and I gave her a gift and I also traveled across the country to be in her wedding. I think she was very apprecitive that I got her a gift and traveled for her wedding and because she didn't expect it.

    For my wedding, I was more happy that they were involved but I definitely wouldn't say anything if one of my wedding party didn't give me a gift.

    Also, I know my DH's brother wasn't in the best financial situations.  So we didn't expect a gift from him.  I wasn't annoyed but I was a bit shocked when we had to pay for his tux, I thought he would have saved up enough money for the tux.  But then again, my lips stayed closed.

     
    5.
    Member
    2,338 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    since i got them one when they got married i will say yes! It doesn't have to be big or expensive, but something would be nice! (i don't expect one from my broke baby sis in college, she will prob sign the card from my mom) lol

     
    6.
    Member
    2,217 posts
    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    I think it depends on the person and role. I have a BM that I will buy the dress for, pay for accomodations, and transport the weekend of the wedding. She probably can't get me anything, so I expect nothing. My MOH has a lot more money and I was very generous with her last wedding, so I would be surprised if she didn't get me anything. Upset, maybe a little, but not enough to not let it roll off my back.

     
    7.
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    231 posts
    Helper bee
    jkoala    May 29, 2010  

    I couldn't imagine being in the wedding party and NOT giving the couple a gift! Do I expect gifts from them? I guess so.  Does the gift need to have monetary value? Definitely not.  FSIL is an interior designer.  If she offered to come over and make recommendations for our place, that would be amazing.  If a creative friend made a picture frame out of popsicle sticks, fantastic. 

    Now, this doesn't mean if someone in the wedding party doesn't give us a gift that I would confront them or unfriend them or anything like that.  Gifts are customary, but never required. 

     
    8.
    Member
    947 posts
    Busy bee
    mimosa    May 29, 2010   NC

    After all that they are doing for me, to me that is my wedding gift.  I'd be fine with a card.

     
    9.
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    luckyyou    March 20, 2010   Philadelphia, PA

    Almost everyone in our wedding party are either recent college grads, still in college, or just had a baby so we're not expecting anything! We've tried to keep costs low for them as best we can, but there's just some things we can't help, so whatever they decide to do is fine with us!

     
    10.
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    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee
    Stephanie10221982    July 24, 2010  

    I have always understood that Bridal Party members do not bring gifts ~ their attendance, travels, etc. are essentially their gift -

     

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