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Gifts are completely optional. If the attendants want to give gifts on top of their other expenses, that is entirely up to them. No one should be expecting gifts in the first place. Yes they're nice but are by no means required. No couple should be upset if their attendants can't afford anything else, even if they keep the thought to themselves. On the same token, there should not be any mention made to the attendants that gifts are not required, as that is a given and it is considered rude to bring up in conversation.
I've also been suprised when posters are upset they didn't receive a wedding gift. I do think it's still customary to bring one for the bridal shower.
I guess for me, I'm in a position to be involved in a wedding and give the happy couple an additional gift ($). Like last year, I was a bm and I gave her a gift and I also traveled across the country to be in her wedding. I think she was very apprecitive that I got her a gift and traveled for her wedding and because she didn't expect it.
For my wedding, I was more happy that they were involved but I definitely wouldn't say anything if one of my wedding party didn't give me a gift.
Also, I know my DH's brother wasn't in the best financial situations. So we didn't expect a gift from him. I wasn't annoyed but I was a bit shocked when we had to pay for his tux, I thought he would have saved up enough money for the tux. But then again, my lips stayed closed.
since i got them one when they got married i will say yes! It doesn't have to be big or expensive, but something would be nice! (i don't expect one from my broke baby sis in college, she will prob sign the card from my mom) lol
I think it depends on the person and role. I have a BM that I will buy the dress for, pay for accomodations, and transport the weekend of the wedding. She probably can't get me anything, so I expect nothing. My MOH has a lot more money and I was very generous with her last wedding, so I would be surprised if she didn't get me anything. Upset, maybe a little, but not enough to not let it roll off my back.
I couldn't imagine being in the wedding party and NOT giving the couple a gift! Do I expect gifts from them? I guess so. Does the gift need to have monetary value? Definitely not. FSIL is an interior designer. If she offered to come over and make recommendations for our place, that would be amazing. If a creative friend made a picture frame out of popsicle sticks, fantastic.
Now, this doesn't mean if someone in the wedding party doesn't give us a gift that I would confront them or unfriend them or anything like that. Gifts are customary, but never required.
After all that they are doing for me, to me that is my wedding gift. I'd be fine with a card.
Almost everyone in our wedding party are either recent college grads, still in college, or just had a baby so we're not expecting anything! We've tried to keep costs low for them as best we can, but there's just some things we can't help, so whatever they decide to do is fine with us!
I have always understood that Bridal Party members do not bring gifts ~ their attendance, travels, etc. are essentially their gift -
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I have noticed a few threads on the boards regarding bridal parties and wedding gifts.
I have been in a few weddings, so has FH, and in the weddings we have been in the bride and groom made it clear that gifts were in no way expected from the bridal party (since you spend so much for dresses/tuxes/hair/makeup/accessories/travel/parties).
I thought this line of thinking is really common, so I am surprised at people who are concerned about bridal party members who don;t buy a gift or buy them a modest gift.
I have made sure that our bridal party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) are not expected to purchase any wedding or shower gifts.
What do you think?