Post # 1
We planned our wedding fairly quickly and originally, did not want to have a bridal party because we wanted the focus to be on us. We’re both in our late 30s and decided we just want our friends and family to have a good time. As time went on, we changed our minds and I asked one of my girlfriends and that quickly turned into 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen. I went with tonal green and navy as my colors and let the girls pick the dresses. I thought this would be easy but it’s been a nightmare. They are complaining about eachother to me, picking dresses that are not in line with the wedding, complaining about how much they have to spend, etc. It’s been a nightmare and does not make me feel good about having them in it. I work full time plus getting my mba and the added stress is killing me and impacting my relationship.
My fiance is concerned that I’ve lost focus and thinks we should eliminate the bridal party and just have everyone attend and have a great time. It’s a small wedding, about 90 people. The girls bought their dresses but have receipts.
Should I listen to my fiance and tell them we have too much going on and decided we want the day to be about us and decided not to have a party and have everyone be our guest? Has anyone gone through this before? Or stick it out?
How do I stay focused on what really matters?
Post # 3
@rusticbee: i really dont think you can eliminate the bridal party.
at the very least youd have to offer to pay for their dresses etc if theyve lost the receipt. but still, even if it was for all of them and not singling one out…its going to lead to hurt feelings. they may feel that since youve demoted them they dont watn to attend the wedding at all!]
wedding planning is always more stressful than expected, particularly having bridesmaids. i think on the day though, youd be glad you had them
Post # 4
I think it’s inappropriate to eliminate the bridal party once you have asked them. I would sit down with each of them and explain how their attitudes have bee causing you extra stress. Pick out the dress(es) you want them in, and tell them to buy it. After that, I’d just stop really trying to include them, and just let them show up on the day of the wedding.
Post # 5
Thank you, you are both right!.
Post # 6
At this point eliminating the bridal party doesn’t seem like an option. However, I would sit down with all your girls and tell them to stop being brats and that their involvement in your wedding is turning into you being referee, which is by far not the way it should be. Your bridal party is meant to be there to help ans support you with your day and your journey. Sorry if this isn’t the most helpful but its all i can think of
Post # 7
Once asked, you can’t undo it, especially after they all went and bought dresses. Ask everyone to show you their dress by emailing you a picture and then you can have a group discussion on what needs to be exchanged, etc.