Bridal Party didn't give us gifts:(

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
957 posts
Busy bee

That sucks, I am so sorry. I don’t know why they didn’t get you gifts and it’s understandably upsetting. It’s possible that they forgot, or felt like they weren’t entitled since they were there for you on your big day. Both of those are NOT excuses though, and I’m really sorry. Unfortunately, there’s really not much you can do.. but you’ll always remember it, I’m sure.

We got gifts from everyone in our bridal party except DH’s BROTHER. Now he’s getting married this year and I can’t help but wish I had the guts to get him nothing as well. But I just don’t feel like I can do that.

Post # 3
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

aprilanne:  I was prepared to come on here and tell you off (sort of nicely I suppose) but then I read that you paid for EVERYTHING and now I say SHAME ON THEM! They really should have gotten you a gift since you were so great to take care of everythign for them, and since they can clearly afford it.

I do not expect gifts from my wedding party, but that is because I can’t pay for all of those things, so they will have to buy their own dresses, plus it’s a (sort of) destination wedding, so everyone will have to stay they night.

Post # 4
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Given the circumstances, I’d be upset, too. I’m sorry. Even if they couldn’t afford to get you a gift, a card would have been nice. I’m with you, it’s the thought behind it. And clearly, there was none.

Post # 5
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

aprilanne:  i feel your pain.  2 of my BMs gave our gift 2 months after the wedding and a groomsman (who brought a party crasher, but that’s another story) gave us our gift 5 months after the wedding.

so maybe they are waiting for something to arrive to give to you.  don’t give up hope yet.

Post # 6
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Wow! Regardless if you paid for everything or not. At least a card or letter or a not so costly gift. Even nothing from your MOH?

Post # 7
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Wow, that’s crazy. Awkward.

Post # 8
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I didn’t get anything from my party, either. Not even a single card.<br /><br />Their presence was your gift.

Post # 9
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didnt get a gift from any of my 6 girls. They make decent money also (over $100k w/ no kids). I wouldnt even THINK about why I didnt receive a GIFT though.

I considered their presence by my side to be a gift. Shower/bachelorette or not….

 

Have you asked them? Probably not because it would be rude to ask…

 

Post # 10
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That really sucks.  The least they can do is give a nice heartfelt card if they were having financial difficulties!! 

Post # 11
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow! not even one single BM gave you a gift? That seems a little odd to me. But then again, I am not really sure where you are from and what the usual customs are.

Post # 12
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

On the plus side, you could be thankful they didn’t get you a gift.

A few people from our wedding party all planned on buying us a goat and then having it slaughtered to serve at the reception! I still don’t know if they were kidding or not, but I am pretty sure they actually weren’t. It was a long running joke that my two best guy friends were going to give FI a goat as a dowry to take me off their hands, and I guess they thought feeding us the goat would be funny…. I didn’t.

Post # 13
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

aprilanne:  I’ve often heard how people who appear to have money often happen to not be as generous than people who live more frugally/below their means. You can always assume someone is ”well off” because of how they choose to present themselves (status symbols, etc.), and based on what they choose to tell you they own, but maybe they actually carry massive debts and act cheap because they don’t have that much money to spare. I’m only saying this to you because you assumed their income and wealth but don’t actually see inside their wallets. That’s for the financial aspect of it. Now when it comes to personality, some people simply expect others to go great lengths for them, but rarely ever pay it forward to someone else. Maybe they’re showing their true colors. 

Post # 13
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Hyperventilate:  Disagree 10000% Not giving a gift to the bride and the groom, especially if you are in the bridal party, and ESPECIALLY if they have paid for everything is tacky and rude. There have been times where I, as a BM, have been completely tapped out come wedding time (from all of the expenses like hair, makeup, nails, shoes, dress, hotel, etc.), but I still managed to get a gift and at least write a heartfelt note in a card. 

OP, have you thought of perhaps trying to subtely dropping a hint or something? Or, if these girls are really close friends, maybe asking? If these were my friends, I would have no problem asking what exactly was going on. You aren’t demanding gifts, but explaining your hurt feelings would help quell any lingering resentment. But honestly, these girls sound class-ay. 

Post # 15
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center

As many people there are who say their presence is your gift, I don’t believe that – not if you paid for all of these things. My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses and hair/makeup plus staying in a hotel the night before with me (I’m paying for that though) but because of that, I don’t expect them to give me anything. I don’t need anything but their presence after all they’ve spent for me. BUT, if I paid for all of those things for them and didn’t even get a card (even just a thank you card, not even a happy wedding card) I would be really upset.

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