(Closed) Bridal Party Dilema

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Do you think the girl is actually upset about this or just your mom?

If its just your mom I’d leave it be – agree to disagree. Tell her the dresses are ordered, gifts picked etc., etc.

If you think the girl is upset, I guess see if she wants to do coffee – not to invite her to the "party" but just to catch up and mend fences.

Good luck

Post # 5
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I don’t have a cultural issue per se, but what I am figuring out is that my mom has her own ideas about how things should be – and when she gets upset, its because she actually had everything figured out already (without telling me), and my plan is different.  Generally I let her cool off for a day or two, and then explain why I made the decisions I made.  Usually that ends up okay, or we can find a reasonable compromise position. 

This might be a cultural issue – or just a family issue (I have figured out that a lot of the details of this whole wedding thing are sometimes waaaaay more important to my mom than they are to me).  However, I think that when you get to something that IS important to you, its not a problem to stand firm.  We have a number of guests on our list that are mom and dad’s friends and not really ours.  And that’s fine, especially as they are paying for the reception.  But I personally wouldn’t designate a BM on the basis that she is a daughter of your mom’s friend.  Maybe just explain that, even though your mom and her mom are friends, you and she haven’t been close for years.  And therefore you think you have done the appropriate thing.

Post # 6
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

just let it ride… 🙂

 

perhaps get her input on something else, so it helps direct her attention elsewhere, lol. 

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