(Closed) Bridal party dilemma

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
12816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think 9-to-1 is a huge difference, and will look a little weird.  I’ve also heard you should have one attendant each (so one BM and one GM) per 50 guests to keep it looking balanced.  Obviously a rough estimate, but having 9 girls up front, 1 guy, and then 50 people in the audiancewill look very off-balance.

Could you incorporate some of these girls in other ways?  I would definitely hold off on asking them to be in the wedding until you’re less than a year out, though!

Post # 5
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think 9 bridesmaids when your guestlist has 70ish people is too much.  I also think having 9 bridesmaids and one groomsmen is too big of a difference.  I would try to stick with at the most 4 bridesmaids.  It is going to be tough for you to choose though! 

I think your graduate school friends will understand if you make your bridesmaids friends you met in undergrad since you have known them longer.  Since all of your graduate school friends know each other, think what a blast they would have sitting together at the reception. 

Rehardless of what you decide to do, dont ask anyone yet!

Post # 6
Member
12816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@pharmy:  I meant like, readings and other things of honor, not tasking them with assignments πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
9609 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@pharmy:  that sounds like a good idea πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I agree with those above, 9 is too many and makes it not very special. Why don’t you have your close girls party with you and get ready with you but not make them BMs?

Post # 9
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I do think that 9 is too many, and if your FI found “fillers” to make it even (or less of a difference) it would look kind of weird having more people standing at the front than actual guests πŸ™‚ 

I felt odd with 3 a side because with a small wedding of 45 we had nearly 20% of the attendees at the front πŸ™‚ 

Post # 11
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

I know its what you want but thinking about my fiance, it would probably embarass him if he only had one friend close enough to ask and you had NINE. Thats coming from my relationship–yours could be totally different.

Post # 13
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I understand you wanting to “nail down” early details, but you still have 2 years till your day. I would reccomend waiting at least a year before doing any official asking and maybe it will all work it self out.

Maybe some of your MUST have friends, won’t be so close by then (moving away, family changes, etc) or maybe your FI will start meeting new people around work or something and build some more friendships.

I just think it is too early to start truely worrying about this.

(p.s. I am also having more bridesmaids then groomsmen but only by a couple, so I think uneven wedding parties are acceptable).

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