Bridal Party Drama (kinda long)

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

futureldubs:  I would let the dust settle, see what happens, before you make any moves. Maybe they need some time to think through what they’re actually doing. And if not, maybe you need a heart to heart, to tell them the literal reason why you did this. 

Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I would pick another girl to solve this problem. 

Of course that will proably result in them never speaking to you again because they sound about that mature…

Maybe you can divide up the MOH “duties,” e.g. hav one of them walk down the aisle first and the other one hold your bouquet.

If they still make a fuss I’d just choose another friend. And at that point you can be pissed as hell.

Post # 4
Member
870 posts
Busy bee

I would set up activities and competitions and have them compete for the title. 

Kidding,  I don’t know what advice is going to be right for this situation as they sound kinda crazy. Maybe just explain to them both that you love them equally and would find it really stressful to pick one. Tell them it’s just one day and the support from both is really important. 

Post # 5
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d stick to your guns here and continue without appointing anyone as MOH. Only I can’t see how that’ll do other than unleash more drama. They are only united in their childish determination to get their own way at the moment but once one of them – or indeed any of your other bridesmaids – is elevated to MOH status they’ll simply have another battle to fight.

Nobody has the RIGHT to play any role in someone else’s wedding. Let alone have the right to cause trouble over it. You have decided to play fair by treating everyone equally and if they can’t cope with fairness then that’s a sad reflection of their lack of support for you.

Post # 6
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

My boyfriend Brandon has 2 best friends, Nick and Mike. I asked him years ago who would be the best man, because they have a 3 Musketeers thing going on, they even got a Celtic 3 peice tattoo on their arms together. He told me they figured that Brandon would be Nicks best man, Nick would be Mikes, and Mike would be Brandons, that way its argument free, and equal. Maybe you could decide it that way since its the 3 of you?

Post # 7
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Personally the one talking about you behind your back is the last one I’d pick.

Post # 8
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

futureldubs:  WOW.  Your friends sound pretty hideous…

I’d just stick to my guns.  Tell them that you value their friendship but that you don’t feel that you should have to pick favorites.  If their concern is legitimately with logistical details (who gives the toast, who hosts which party, who hold the bouquet) you can easily divide up those duties.  Obviously though, they just want to be ranked higher than the others.

Are they children or something?  What is wrong with these women?  I can’t imagine having so little dignity.

Post # 9
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

 

morningcoffee:  “I would set up activities and competitions and have them compete for the title.”

Ba ha ha ha ha!  Do this.  I suggest an obstacle course based on this episode of Saved by the Bell http://vimeo.com/45727841

Post # 10
Member
2519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

futureldubs: Yikes they say very immature

I would sit them down and be say something along the lines of ” i will not pick between you two, please have enough respect for me to accept that and move on. You are really stressing me out and this is supposed to be a happy time ../..blah blah blah” If they refuse to honor your wishes, cut them both out of the party, the don’t deserve to be there. I would be very agitated if I were you!~ 

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

futureldubs:  This is ridulous and so immature on their parts. This is your wedding and it’s your decision to decide who bridemaids are and whether you want a MOH. They need to accept that and if they can’t, they shouldn’t be in your wedding at all. That said, I would go about it in a gentle way. Explain to them that you would like them to be part of your wedding as bridesmaids and that you value their friendship, but would like your wishes to be respected. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding that also did not have a MOH. Had there been a MOH, it would have been me or, let’s call her Megan. Megan had been friends with the bride since they were small children. I went to college with the bride and we had been friends for about 10 years when she got married. Megan and I are btoh very close to the bride so we shared the tasks that the MOH would normally do. At first, Megan caused some drama about the same things your friends are talking about- who was going to walk down the isle first, who was going to make a toast, etc. However, fortunately, the comments didn’t last and I would say that there was a minimal amount of drama. Hopefully, this will also be the case with your friends. I would just make sure you are upfront with them at the beginning so the drama gets left behind.

Post # 12
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

Make them flip a coin for walking down the aisle. Then divide the other responsibilities.  Silly ladies :s

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