bridal party from hell

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: should I say something to the other girls?
    yes -- but be cool...a little reminder about the moms health and how stressed she is : (23 votes)
    50 %
    yes -- and lay into them! they are suppose to be her BFF!!! not making her life hell : (9 votes)
    20 %
    yes -- but individually as to not embarass them : (7 votes)
    15 %
    no -- it will just make things worse : (7 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 2
    2364 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    littlemisshostess:  YIKES…what a codery of ner-do-wells!!!!!!

    Are you the MOH??

    IMHO there are 2 ways to approach this: if you don’t plan on seeing them after the wedding and don’t care who you offend, tell it like it is: “knock the shit off, get it together and consider bride’s sensitivity!!” or you can be very sweet and demure about it with please and thank you’s and group your own self in your wording of things.  

    Post # 4
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t “lay into them” but I would also be very concise and to the point.  That X behavior is not acceptable and how would they feel on thier wedding day if x, y, z is happening to them?  How old are these girls and are any of them married? Just sounds like a very young, sef absorbed and selfish group of people.  

    Post # 5
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House

    OMG girl. you are a saint for not saying anything sooner!! I would put them in check. Coming from a bride I would want my maid of honor or even a bridesmaid to say something. that is more stress on my plate and anything I don’t have to deal with is GREAT! one of my bridesmaids just got married a year ago and she knows how it is so when something didn’t go right, people had problems, etc she handled it. she got on the other girls if she heard they were going to me with their problems. we are suppose to be grown ass women and handle our own shit. more power to you. I think you should send an email explaining alllll this stress on the bride and how this doesn’t help and people need to do their part or they shouldn’t have accepted the honor to be in a persons wedding.

    Post # 7
    481 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would tell them to shut up and deal with it.  It isn’t your fault they booked hotels last minute etc. Plus when you say yes to being a bridesmaid you know what you are getting into.  You don’t have to say yes.  So yeah, just tell them to quite their whining.  Plus, you don’t ever plan to see them again so it doesn’t matter if they are mad at you.

    Post # 8
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    littlemisshostess:  With that info I might be a little more harsh with them in my email because you are right they are too old for this shenanigans!

    Post # 9
    7157 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If a  BM still hasn’t picked up her dress and some of the BM  don’t have discounted rooms, those are their issues to work out.  Either she’ll walk down the aisle naked or she won’t.  Worst comes to worst and they will have to pay more money and pay for rush delivery. I would not get involved. 

     As for the MOHs who think it’s necessary to be at the venue for two nights, who cares?  Let them book the additional night if they want.  I’d only speak up if it seems like an unreasonable last minute request and it impacts you.     

    If you were all  together, sure, you might say something to suggest that the bride is really stressed out and the less you all burden her with issues at this time the better.  But I wouldn’t write an email or call anyone out specifically.  That is just going to cause unnecessary drama and it’s not going to accomplish anything besides tension on the wedding day itself.   Chances are all or most of these things will work out in the end. 

    If you really want to help, call the bride and ask her if there is anything you can do. 

    Post # 10
    7304 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I was MOH in a wedding last year and I had to put the groom’s mother in check multiple times (she’s a pill and everyone knows it. The groom thought hard about not inviting her, if that says anything). I was killing myself to make the bride happy, and I was not about the let this woman start her usual drama and ridiculousness. It sucks to be the person that has to do the dirty work, but sometimes that’s life. So I vote for straight up telling them to shut up, plaster on a smile, and get over themselves. But I’m a b*tch like that.

    Post # 12
    3238 posts
    Sugar bee

    you are a good friend.

    I would not confront them, but I would try to go above and beyond in helping the bride, as much as I could.

    Confronting them will make it worse. They will just end up complaining to the bride, which will stress her out, and they will probably turn it around to you were being difficult.

    This type of person is not the type to actually do interspection and realize THEY are the problem. They are far too spechul for that.

    Post # 13
    7157 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    littlemisshostess:  I’d feel badly, too, but with people like this, I guarantee that  nothing you do or say is going to make the slightest bit of difference. They will just resent you sticking your nose into their business, resent the bride for discussing it with you,  and potentially cause even more problems for the bride than she already has. 

    Post # 14
    6220 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This is not your problem, and trying to fix it is just going to make things worse. Bridesmaids who have not gotten hotel rooms or dresses yet are not your concern.  I would simply tell the bride that you are excited for her wedding and offer to help with any last-minute details, and leave it at that. 

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