Bridal Party Out of State… Should I ask someone to do my Bridal Shower?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 6
10877 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009


Unfortunately, there just is not a polite manner in which to ask someone to host a shower in your honor. However, I think it is likely that someone ultimately will offer to host one on your behalf. I lived out of state from all of my family and all of DH’s friends and family, too. However, my friends in my state invited my mother, aunts, and cousins to my shower in my state, and some of them traveled to attend. Also, someone who lives in the same city as my DH was kind enough to offer to host one for some of his friends in that area.

Post # 9
1190 posts
Bumble bee

@Jacquelinesc84:  It’s normal though. My sister went through this and wouldn’t let any of us bridesmaids know her feelings.

One day, I got a message from her FI to all the bridesmaids, saying that my sister has been very sad about no one planning a bridal shower/bachelorette party. So, I stepped up and planned it all. 

But I wouldn’t have known had she not said anything.

It may not be proper etiquette, but I’d talk with one of your closest bridesmaids about this, and problem solve together. 

Post # 11
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m sorry there’s so much going on!  Honestly, with so much drama in the mix, it might be better just to skip the shower entirely and try for a fun bachelorette.

Post # 12
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I would be hesitant to throw yourself a shower because you would essentially be inviting people to come give you gifts – you risk seriously offending your guests and coming across as greedy. If it’s the experience you want rather than the presents, then I suggest calling it something other than a shower and make it clear that no gifts are required. 

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