- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My apologies for length. I just really need feedback.
For the longest time (so, since September when we got engaged, LOL), I really worried about who to have in the bridal party. FH and I both have big families. He’s got 3 brothers, and I’ve got 3 sisters (2 step, one half) and 2 brothers (one half and one… regular?). It’s also challenging because we’re both the oldest, so our wedding will be the first in our families among our generation.
We eventually decided that he’d have 3 friends and his 3 brothers, and I’d have 3 friends and my 3 sisters. Admittedly, I’m not close with one of them–she’s very difficult–and I’m mostly picking her to keep the peace. I figure since she’s out of state, she won’t really be contributing much to anything. All she’ll have to do is look pretty and stand there. (Plus the rest of my BP knows she is crazy and will keep an eye on her.) We haven’t asked anyone yet (other than my 12 year old half sister and my MOH, who was decided at age 9).
If FH had a sister, she would be a BM, no questions asked. Since FH has no sisters, I have been thinking of asking his younger brother’s girlfriend. They’ve been together a long time. Plus, ever since FH and I got engaged, she’s been super excited and has asked to help as much as possible. I really appreciate that because, overall, my family who lives nearby aren’t interested in the wedding, and I’m sure I could use the help.
If we do bump to 8, rather than 6 each, I’d need to find someone else. I do have a cousin I used to be close with. However, she’s not my first choice for a few reasons.
1) BMs over 18 are all getting the option to bring a guest, but her taste in men is more druggies and dropouts (not trying to be judgmental, but when you’ve dated 2 guys who each ended up in prison…);
2) she has A LOT of visible tattoos and we are having a church wedding;
3) She went to the same HS as FH, his brothers, and me. FH and I were gone, but they used to laugh about this trashy couple, and only later found out that she was my cousin. (awkward conversations and some apologizing haha)
4) My aunt hadn’t even let go of my hand when she was looking at my ring shortly after my engagement and said, “you should really ask Cousin to be in your bridal party.” And mind you, she hadn’t said congratulations yet. Because everything in my aunt’s life (and she believes in everyone’s lives) is all about my cousin. Now, every time I see my aunt, she asks if I’ve picked BMs yet. I just say no.
For number 4 alone, I’m against it. If she could cover her tattoos and not bring a dirtbag, it might be ok. It would make my aunt happy, but I’m not sure. Should I just pick a friend I’m not as close to? I’m close to FH’s cousin, but that would cause too much drama if I picked her over my own.
The other option is picking FH’s friend who hid behind a tree (LOL) and waited to take pictures of FH proposing, and this would be an awesome way of acknowledging what a special gift she gave us both by taking those pictures.
I’m wondering if we should bump the attendants to 8 on each side. That way my brothers can be included. Is it bad to ask that of FH? We have been together 7.5 years, so we know each other’s families. Is 8 too many? We’re having a 200 person wedding.
What do you ladies think?