(Closed) Bridal Party — to have or not?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is there another way your could incorporate your sister, maybe have her do a reading or something during the ceremony? 

Post # 5
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is just my opipion but if it means that much to you sister and there is no other way to include her in the wedding. I would ask your two sister to stand up with you.  I feel sad that her only 2 friends didnt not ask her to be a bridesmaid either.

Post # 7
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@bluebicycle: Yea that would be a really hard situtation. I think maybe I am just feeling pity for your sister and thats definitley not a reason to have her up there. Have you tried to explain the whoe sistation and maybe she will understand.

Post # 8
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Is it the worst thing in the world to have an uneven amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen?  Here’s my little humble opinion on it.  It’s your wedding.  I’m a really empathetic person, and reading your OP, you mentioned it would mean alot to your sister to be a bridesmaid.  You said she was upset that she wasn’t going to be in your wedding (I’m taking it to mean SAD upset instead of ANGRY upset).  Please brides, all of you, please don’t take for granted that ppl CARE about your wedding at all.  FI and I are having to have enough enthusiam for EACH OTHER bc no one really could care less about our wedding.  Your older sister is disabled and doesn’t have alot of friends.  And for some reason you think your other sis will never get married…?  Awwh, that’s mean to say.  But either way,  I say have the 6 bridesmaids walk 2 by 2 and enjoy your day.  I don’t believe in “fillers” either…if your FI doesn’t have close friends or fam, it’s ok in my opinion for him not to have anyone stand w him.  Different people have different life experiences and our generation is making new traditions in weddings!!  You can do whatever you want!

SN: I’m not having a bridal party at all.  I don’t have any “bridal party” relationships.  ((Shoulder shrugs)).  Sure, there are “fillers”, I could come up withh some people, but I never wanted just anyone.  And I don’t have anyone that’s genuinely that close to me.

Post # 9
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Mandydee:Didn’t read your post before I wrote mine but I agree.  For some reason, I really feel bad for her sisters.  Both of them.

Again, for me, I’d take asymetrical any day over having my sisters be sad and/or not having my closest girls stand with me.

Post # 10
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What about havingher be a greeter instead? Someone to welcome guests as the enter and hand out programs, bubbles, confetti, whatever?

Post # 11
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@katieebee: You said exactly what I was trying to say ! I completely agree!

Post # 12
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn

Honestly I faced this, but due to other factors it was easy for me just not to have a bridal party.

If we’re being empathetic, I think the groom deserves a little empathy too in the situation. I toptally get where everyone is coming from with the sister, and I feel the same way. But take the groom’s situation into consideration too. How would it make him feel to have no one stand beside him when the bride has 2-6 people next to her? Will he feel left out and unloved? I know Mr. Lox would have. Didn’t even have to ask to know how uncomfortable and lonely that would make him feel.

Is there perhaps a halfway point you can meet? Can you explain that you’re not having bridesmaids, but make the sisters feel special? Have them get ready with you and take pictures with you before the ceremony. Have them listed specially in the program. Have them sit up front and include them in the ceremony somehow. Definitely ask your older sister to hold your bouquet when it comes to that part. Do a thank you toast to your guests at the reception and thank your sisters for being with you. (Bonus points if you specifically call out your older sister as the MOH you didn’t have.) What about a special dance with your sister to a special song you pick out just for her?

Those are just ideas that I’ve been toying with to make my own bridal-party-that-isn’t feel special and included. I hope maybe some of it helps.

Post # 13
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

First of all, props for even caring about this!  I know that seems like a small thing, but there are people who would have just said “tough ShXt”. 

Does your sister draw/sing/do art?  If so, can you ask her to write/make/sing a piece at your wedding?  Or, are you having a ring-warming as part of your ceremony?  Maybe she can be in charge of that?  

IMO, I would definitely try to incorporate her since she wants to be part of the wedding.  If your ceremony is such that it does not lend itself to your sister doing something extra, then I would ask her to be a BM/MOH.  So what if your bridal party is lopsided?  I have seen plenty of weddings where there is a lopsided bridal party, and it has looked and been fine.      

Post # 14
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you’re worried about it looking uneven or asymetrical, why not change up how the bridesmaids stand?  Unless you’re really traditional, there’s no reason all the girls have to stand on your side, while FI has no one on his.  They could stand in a semicircle behind you two, or each girl could be act as ushers for important guests like family then take a seat, or they could stand in the back.  I’m sure if you explain to them your FI’s situation, they won’t feel bad about not standing at the front in the traditional way so as not to hurt his feelings.

Post # 15
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Aw you seem really sweet. I think you should definetly include your sisters (and maybe your friends) regardless of what your man does. Here’s a few options:

* Only use your sisters, and have them stand next to you.

* Use your sisters and friends and have guy friends act as a party for FI. It doesn’t have to be even but this way you won’t have 6 girls next to you while he has 0 guys.

* Use all sixe friends, but don’t have them stand next to you. Have them walk down the aisle and then sit in the front row. This way it’s only you and your FI up front, but you still have your girls.

I personally like the last option the best, but do what feels right for you. There can be a compromise in this situation.

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