Bridal registry for a vow renewal?

posted 3 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: Bridal registry for a vow renewal?
    Yes, I think that's pretty typical for vow renewals : (2 votes)
    1 %
    No, that seems a little odd -- there shouldn't be an expectation of a gift : (161 votes)
    99 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee

    @MrsEdamame:  I’d say stick with your initial thought. 

    To me that’s way over the top.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3736 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No. Not typical. And it’s in incredibly poor taste. I think a nice card and a bottle of wine is more than sufficient. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1929 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Yeah that seems in really poor taste… Very gift grabby.  I agree, a bottle of wine is a great gift.

    Post # 6
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Not typical at all, its just a cash and gift grab

    Post # 7
    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Seems as if the bride is trying to have the wedding she never had in the first place. I’m sure everyone has different opinions, but if I was in that situation personally, I wouldn’t send out a registry or expect gifts. However, the fact that she did seems as if she EXPECTS them. That’s just a bit odd.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4827 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    @MrsEdamame:  Sounds like she wants a wedding with all the bells and whistles 5 years after the fact.

    Um, no. You don’t do that. 

    Absurd.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6026 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    How can you have a bachelorette party when you’re not a bachelorette?!?!

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MrsEdamame:  this seems very gift grabby to me, i guess they think bc they had a courthouse wedding they could try to have the bigger wedding they really wanted but its not a wedding anymore so these pre wedding parties are unnecessary bc its a vow renewal.

    I dont understand this thing of having a vow renewal after 1 to 5 years. I could umderstabd 10, 20, 25, 30 years but anything less than that is just an excuse to have a “party” and try to get some gifts out of it. But that couple is going to be highly disappointed.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9529 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    It’s not what I would do, but it’s not the end of the world. If you wan to get them something on the registry, that’s fine. I’m sure a nice bottle of wine would also be greatly appreciated. Not a big deal either way. She’s your friend, and that’s what’s important. Get whatever gift or card you’re comfortable with.

    Post # 13
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MrsEdamame:  After five years, yeah I think it would be a little weird. Maybe not gift grabby in the sense that most people think, because to me, it seems like she’s basically just trying to have a wedding, and is doing all of the wedding things, including a registry. In her mind, gifts are part of a wedding, so she probably didn’t think twice about doing it.

    I hate to give just one answer on this, but I mean, I could totally see, say a couple who got married because someone was deploying, then having a wedding-esc vow renewal when the deployed spouse got back. In that situation I think I wouldn’t even think twice about them having a registry, even if I knew they were already married. It’s actually happened before.

    Really, there are a lot of different scenarios where I wouldn’t think twice about it, but in this situation, it just seems odd because it is 5 years later. Not gift grabby, really, but just odd. But in all honesty vow renewals after 5 years is odd to me in general (not so much the within the first year thing, as I know a LOT of miliary folks who get married for military reasons, then have a large ‘wedding’ to celebrate later), because around here, vow renewals are usually held on big anniversaries, like 25 or 50.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @MrsEdamame:  

    As someone who is having a vow renewal because I eloped, I’m going to say that having bridal showers and a registry for a renewal is very tacky. It screams “GIFT GRABBY!”

    There shouldn’t be any expectation of gifts. Also, wives cannot have “bridal showers” or “bachelorette parties” because they are already married! Those gatherings are for unmarried women. 

    If someone is renewing their vows with a larger celebration after a courthouse wedding/quickie elopement, the emphasis is on celebrating with loved ones the way the couple did not the first time. 

    I wouldn’t attend if I were you. Some people really have no manners. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MrsEdamame:  I can totally see why if she didn’t have the wedding she wanted (if it was rushed for whatever reason) she would want to do it a bit over the top, but you can do that, have a beatiful wedding-esque vow renewal without costing your guests anymore than travel costs. I dont get the present part…

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