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How about suggesting they throw a "send off party" instead. So no gifts are expected, but its a chance to get together with everone.
If you dont call it a bridal shower, the same ettiquete does not apply. People dont expect to have to bring gifts and people will know its a destination wedding and won't feel bad that they arent invited.
i'm with PP...and you can always do something different due to the nature of your event. have a recipe party. those are pretty neat actually! because then, it's not really a gift, it's more of a "sharing" kind of thing...this way, if someone does bring an actual gift, it's ok, because everyone else knew about the recipe thing. and if everyone knows about the DW, they won't think twice of it(i'd like to hope, i wouldn't but that's just me)
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So, I am getting married in Hawaii, and have only invited an intimate handful of my family to attend.
My mother and grandmother (who are both coming to Hawaii) are super keen on throwing me a bridal shower before the wedding and plan on inviting my family and friends over, many of whom are not invited to the wedding. My mom says I shouldn’t feel awkward and that I am not asking for anything, but I think most people go to a bridal shower thinking that they are expected (or thing it’s in good form) to bring a gift. Those that are going to Hawaii, the cost in itself is enough of a gift for them to come, so I am not sure what to do. Should I let my Mom and Grandma do it or should I call the shower off? Not sure what to do!