Post # 1
Hi everyone! So I need a little bit of advice. My and my fiance are i guess you would say eloping but not really because everyone knows when and where but we don’t have the money for a wedding so it is going to be just me, him, and the officiant. Well my best friend wants to throw me a engagement/wedding shower due to the fact that she is my best friend and I am getting married. Is it ok for me to have a shower even though we are not having a “wedding” and reception?
Post # 3
I would and I wouldnt think anything of it as a guest, it should be fun
Post # 4
I’m not sure that having a bridal shower for a couple eloping is a good idea. The point of the shower is to celebrate the bride and her upcoming wedding while showering her with gifts. It seems rude to ask people to bring gifts if they aren’t invited to the actual wedding.
Post # 5
@Bichon Frise: <– This. Unfortunately, it’d be inappropriate to have a shower or any sort of pre-wedding party since you aren’t inviting people to the wedding. It basically says that people are good enough to get you a gift but not good enough to attend the wedding. I know that’s not the case with you, but that’s the impression you risk giving. Not having pre-wedding parties is one of the sacrifices you make when you choose to elope. =/
That being said, if your family and friends really want to throw you some sort of party, I think a bridal tea would be ok (one where no gifts are expected). Technically, this is a pre-wedding party, but if everyone invited is on board and you stick with just close friends and family, I think it’d be ok.
Post # 6
@cassie.estep.3: I think there’s nothing wrong with her throwing you an “engagement party” (generally no gifts are expected) or, alternatively, nothing wrong with her throwing a party for you afterward to celebrate the wedding (and if people want to bring gifts it would be up to them). I’d just dodge the word “shower” and the expectation of gifts that it brings, and I think you’ll be fine.
Post # 7
Ya, I agree with the PPs. I think that if you’re eloping, a shower isn’t really appropriate. But the above posters have some good suggestions about how to celebrate with others (sans gifts).
Post # 8
How about a post wedding celebration instead. If your best friend wants to do something, I would prefer this. Then you can have the celebration after the courthouse ceremony where you can share your joy and excitement in being newlyweds with your close friends and family. If people bring gifts (which some will) then all the better.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
So long as all your guests know the situation, there’s nothing wrong with it. 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I also like the post-wedding celebration idea.
Post # 11
Thanks for all of the advice!!