Post # 1
i relocated to NYC to live with my fiance after years of being long distance. his entire family lives in the area as well, but MY family lives all over the country/world.
my mother in law has said she will be throwing me a bridal shower but there’s something about the fact that my family/bridal party won’t be there that makes me not really excited for it. i just feel like bridal parties are so personal and not that i don’t love his family, it just won’t be the same without the loved ones i grew up with there.
there is the possibility that my sisters (MOH & BM) might come in for it, but my mom lives overseas and my other bridesmaids aren’t in a financial situation where they can fly here for the weekend.
it’s almost like i’d rather not have it at all but i know my MIL and i know that’s not an option.
just feeling kinda bleh about the whole situation.
Post # 3
@brooklyn_bee: I’m sorry, that is difficult. I had a bridal shower without any family members present and it was actually beautiful and I felt very loved.
I think you should graciously accept the generosity and kindness of your FMIL to include you in such a loving way, and invite your family with the hopes they’ll come out. Why not have the shower as close to the wedding itself as possible? I would imagine doing so would increase the odds of your family attending both the shower *and* the wedding, yes? Make a weekend of it. Share your feelings with your FMIL and ask if she wouldn’t mind hosting it then for these reasons. Make the most of it.
Post # 4
I am sorry you feel that way. Can you have another one in the area where you are from with your family in friends as well? We had a bridal and baby shower with my husbands family out of state. I have become closer to them over the years so the baby shower was great but the bridal shower was a little more awkward. I think you should just be happy that his mother wants to throw the party for you.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@brooklyn_bee: So sorry! I had this exact situation, so I know how it feels:/ I know that throwing a bridal shower for me meant a lot to my FMIL so I let her do it, and I just did my best to enjoy it. I thought about saying no, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings. In the end, I’m soooo glad I made the decision that I made.
Post # 6
I know it is very personal but I think you will enjoy it. I think we all build up ideals of the wedding process but sometimes people don’t have showers or bachelorette parties or things work out differently than maybe you though. I thought I didn’t want a shower at all but it ending up being really nice and I felt so blessed and honored to have several people go out of their way to celebrate with me.
Post # 7
@brooklyn_bee: that sucks. 🙁 I’m an eternal optimist, and my view of this is not that your family can’t come, but that you have so many people that AREN’T related to you by blood that love you enough to throw/attend a shower. That should make you feel pretty special my dear! 🙂 Congratulations on your engagement, and I hope you have a wonderful shower.
Post # 8
thank you all for your kind words! my family is LITERALLY all over the place so in order for my family & bridal party to attend, there would have to be some MAJOR traveling which i would rather save for the wedding itself (i know money is tight!)
i guess i’m just disappointed/jealous that i feel like every woman* is surrounded by her loved ones, her family, her friends at her bridal shower and i’ll be surrounded by my fiance’s family, friends, etc. i am EXTREMELY blessed that ANYONE would want to throw me a shower and/or attend, i’m just a little sad that MY family won’t be there.
*when i say every woman i don’t mean literally every woman i just mean the majority.
Post # 9
@brooklyn_bee: I understand and that is tough. Just try to think of the bright side. Lots of other women want to celebrate your wedding so that is great news!