Bridal Shower Declines =\

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
45135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Eliza_Bee:  I think showers are getting out of control. They used to be simply light refreshments at someone’s house. Now, many of them are a dressup affair at a venue. I think that contributes  to the percentage of declined invitations.

35 is still a lot of women at a shower. Opening gifts will take considerable time. Be grateful on your sister’s behalf for those who are coming rather than focussing on the negative so your mood doesn’t rub off on the bride.

Post # 3
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Eliza_Bee:  :-/ a lot of people do not like showers/ only attend them if they are close with the bride. How did they determine the guest list? I went through mine and said invite this person, I know them, ect. I didn’t invite every single female wedding guest, just the ones I knew well. 

 I know it stinks paying for 50 when ten or so won’t show up but there is nothing you can do about it now 🙁

Atleast now you kind of know for next time to avoid rooms with minimums! 

Post # 4
4733 posts
Honey bee


Is there anyway you can drop the number? when we had our reception, the venue we chose allowed us to change headcount up to 48 hours in advance (it really mattered if there was going to be more people than less). We estimated for 50, only 25 showed. Which was fine because we dropped the number to 30 and there was plenty of food for everyone to eat and have.

I think it’s the thought that counts. Can your wallet handle this? If so, I think you should focus on making this a wonderful party for your sister and try not to get too worked up over the lack of RSVPs. A lot of people probably thought they don’t need to RSVP and will just show up.

Post # 5
1753 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly, unless I feel I HAVE to attend, really close to the bride, I try to avoid showers.  It isn’t really my idea of a good time to go to a fancy brunch with people I don’t know and watch someone open up a bunch of home stuff they don’t really need.  Thirty-five is a pretty good number of women who like/are close enough to your sister to attend a bridal shower. 

Post # 6
185 posts
Blushing bee

I think you made a mistake by inviting 60 people and expecting a minimum of 50 to attend.  Showers are not as big of a priority as weddings.  Expecting people to dedicate multiple weekends to celebrating your sister’s marriage might be too much, especially if they aren’t all very close with her.  

Post # 10
5209 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Eliza_Bee:  60 guests is a lot for a bridal shower. Normally they just consist of the bridal party and *close* friends and relatives. The guests who are not close to the bride probably didn’t feel like their presence was necessary (and the term gift grabby may have come to mind). Personally I’d feel awkward as a “just because” guest. It was rude for them to disregard the RSVPs though.

Post # 11
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I don’t think 50% or so is a bad acceptance rate for a bridal shower.  I plan lots of events for my job, and we usually get more declines than acceptances.  There could be lots of reasons they can’t come: work, other event obligations, budget restrictions, etc.  Yes, it’s frustrating to plan for a certain number, but you just can’t estimate an exact number.  It sounds like it will still be great!

Post # 12
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


I would just maybe try asking them if they can let the minimum slide this time. Can’t hurt to try

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Boxerlover24.
Post # 13
22 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Hotel Bethlehem


This happened to my shower too! We had 60 people invited and i think only 35 showed up. I was bummed at first, but the shower it self was beautiful and I was really happy with the people that did show up. Totally loved my bridal shower!!! Minus the fact I was in the hospital 4 hours before it was supposed to start! I wouldn’t have changed it one bit 🙂

Post # 14
15 posts

I remember for my own shower we invited like 30ish people and only about 15 showed up. Understandably because some lived out of town and I think that a lot of people just think since they are coming to the wedding the shower is not as important.  35 people is still a lot of people, your sister will be busy with trying to talk to all of them for sure =)

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