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Etiquette states that the only people who are invited to multiple showers are the mothers and the attendants. They only have to provide 1 gift, but because of their importancxe to the wedding, they should be invited.
I had this issue, I split it by family - those who knew the person hosting the party and the friends that I felt would fit in more or know more people at it.
Also, with how busy my bridesmaids were I offered them the option to come to either shower, which would work better for them. It was nice because then I had some at both shower and one even came to both (but obviously only brought a gift to one of them)
My FMIL told me that she wanted to host my shower, so we invited all women guests who were invited to the wedding. However, my mom and I had so much fun at the shower, and were bummed that my family and bridesmaids couldn't come (it was pretty far for them just for a shower), that my mom decided to throw me another one for my family. Major breach of etiquette on so many counts, but we made it very clear that gifts were not expected and we really just wanted to have a fun family brunch (small gifts came anyway).
Why don't you ask your Man of Honor if he wants to come? I think my Maid of Honor thought my shower was boring too, but she still came...
hmm... why not just spread the news to everyone that you want to see at either of your showers..telling them when both of them are...and let them decide which one they can make it to.
Can you make send out the invites for the 2nd one before the 1st occurs? If people legitimately have a conflict, then maybe your mom could verbally ask them if they would be interested in attending another date. I would worry about anything that makes them think they are expected at both, but if you get your message across, who cares about formal etiquette.
I think I will stick with inviting my mom, grandma, FMIL, FSILs, and bridal party to both showers. That's a total of 7 people, so I think it will be reasonable. And yes, I'll definitely make sure that they all understand that two gifts are not necessary! Thanks for the feedback, hive!
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My future MIL and future SILs want to (graciously) throw me a bridal shower. My aunt and step-cousin (my mother's side) also are kind enough to plan a separate wedding shower for me. Therefore, there will be two showers - one planned by my family, one planned by my fiance's family.
Here's my question - what family members/friends/individuals should be invited to BOTH showers?
I am assuming that my mother, FMIL, FSILs, and bridesmaids should be invited to each shower. What about aunts/cousins/family friends? I don't want to burden my friends and family with attending two showers and purchasing two gifts, but I don't want anyone to feel left out! Are there any existing etiquette rules for who gets a definite invite to bridal showers? Also, I am having a man of honor and am struggling about whether or not to invite him to the bridal showers. I'm afraid that he would be bored/uncomfortable. FYI - he would be traveling from Canada to Michigan for the showers...
Thanks your help and advice, ladies