Post # 1
One of my BM(we will call her A)just got engaged(I am not part of her bridal party) Her Maid/Matron of Honor (we will call her B) wants to throw her a bridal shower and has asked me to give her $200 for the party. I told B in a nice way that because of my own wedding expenses (me and my fiancé are paying for everything ourselves, including my shower) I just simply can’t afford it. I offered to buy some decorationspans she completely shot me down. She went on to make me feel horrible saying that I should contribute $200 because A is my bridesmaid. I have told her I’m already contributing $200 towhee bachelorette party and I just can’t afford to do both. I’m not sure whato else to do. Should I borrow the money from someone and make myself even more in debt?
Post # 3
No. Talk to your Bridesmaid or Best Man about this girl.
Post # 4
@Peonie854: If you are not co-hosting the shower, you are in no way expected to contribute.
B can either ask people to co-host, or she can bear the costs herself. If this shower is supposedly being thrown by her bridesmaids, they are the ones who share in the costs. You are not one of the BM’s.
Post # 5
@julies1949: +1. This girl is off her rocker, and you should let your friend know if she keeps bugging you.
Your friend being in your bridal party has absolutely NOTHING to do with her marriage. If you are not in her bridal party, you are fiscally responsible for nothing when it comes to the bridal showers, bachelorette parties, etc. IMO you are already being quite generous coughing up the $200 for the bachelorette party.
Post # 6
You’re not one of her bridesmaids, so it’s not your problem. Sounds like you’re already contributing way enough toward her bachelorette, too.
All that should be expected of you is that you show up to the shower, and bring a gift of your choosing for your BM/the Bride.
Post # 7
This is nuts! In my opinion, I be pissed off and tell my moh/bms not to have a party if they were going around soliciting money. I hosted,plan or been a part of many showers and they only people who pay for them tends to be a family member and the bridal party. Tell this moh you can’t afford it period! Also what kind of logic is it that you are responsible for a bridal shower for someone who is in your wedding???
Post # 8
Not her bridesmaid, not your problem.
Post # 9
Absolutley not! If you are not hosting the shower you are not obligated to contribute towards the cost of the shower. Especially $200, that’s way too much IMO.
Post # 10
Whoa, sorry, what? You’re not in the bridal party and she’s hitting you up for money?! $200?! She is outside her mind. No.
Post # 11
Whattt?! That’s crazy! I’d tell her she needs to talk to the other BMs, because this has nothing to do with your wedding – you are not in A’s bridal party and cannot help finance her shower (even if you were, $200 would be extreme, but that’s not even the point here.) Don’t even have an argument with her about this – she doesn’t need reasons and you don’t need to justify yourself to her, it’s none of her business! Just say no!
Post # 12
@Peonie854: You are not in her bridal party. You have no obligation to anything with her wedding, except showing up for the wedding, assuming youre invited
Post # 13
Because you’re not in your BM’s wedding party, you’re totally not obligated to help with her shower to that extent, even if money wasn’t as tight for you right now. You did the right thing by politely declining and offering to take care of smaller expenses. Her Maid/Matron of Honor is completely out of line and you should talk to your Bridesmaid or Best Man before this girl can potentially ruin your friendship with your Bridesmaid or Best Man by making this into a huge deal and making sh*t up about you. I wouldn’t put it past this rude Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 14
Thanks everyone! I feel so much better about the whole situation!