Bridal Shower drama!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The bridal shower should only include guests invited to the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StefanieJay89:  I know the ettiquet police says only people invited to wedding go to the shower but I don’t get why.  They are 2 seperate events, hosted by 2 seperate people. 

People have baby showers and they don’t expect to be invited to the hospital when the mom gives birth. 

I don’t see the difference.

Post # 7
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StefanieJay89:  if they won’t be invited to your wedding they won’t be able to talk about anythign at the wedding since they won’t be there.

Post # 9
Member
10999 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@StefanieJay89:  From an etiquette perspective, you and @Beaukat: are absolutely correct.  Those not invited to the wedding should not receive invitations to any pre-wedding parties, including showers.

However, as the guest of honor, you are not in control of this event.  Brides do not (or at least should not) host showers for themselves.  The hostesses of the shower are responsible for ensuring that only guests who are invited to the wedding are included in the shower. 

If the hosts of the shower deliberately choose to invite guests whom they know are not also invited to the wedding, that would be a reflection on the hostesses of the shower and not on you. Their choice does not also compel you to invite these additional individuals to your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StefanieJay89:  I’m confused and don’t really follow.  But you say you don’t care if people talk but you seem like you do.  You also say you never see these people.  I just fail to see the dilemma.  You know they will talk someone always does no matter who’s wedding it is you can’t really care about it.  Invite who you want and if your sis is stubborn and won’t let you choose guestlist for shower, I’m not sure there is much you can do besides foregoing the shower.

I think your sis should respect your wishes, but if she dosn’t I don’t think it reflects badly on you, since you aren’t hosting.

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