- 5 years ago
Ok, this will probably be long so I apologize… Here’s some background. My FI and I have had a tumultous relationship because we are very different, and that has led to more than a little tension as we have learned to work together and relate together over the past three years. However, we have both matured and grown more humble and true to ourselves, and we are doing much better. However… his parents are him times ten, and my mom is me times ten. When they were together in the past it was always slightly awkward.
My mom is SUPER sensitive. Like… to a fault. Like, to a personality disorder degree. She can be super paranoid and super sensitive. I love her to death, and she’s been through a lot through divorce and financial issues in the last ten years, especially recently, so I can hardly blame her. But it can be difficult.
FMIL and FFIL have always been super accepting of me as family and very loving, but they have their issues too… they can be judgemental, pushy, opinionated. I’ve learned with FI how to relate with that kind of person, though, it’s not a bad thing to be opinionated I’ve just learned how to voice my own opinion kindly. And I love them too, so much. I’ve really appreciated all they have done for me, just didn’t want to villianize either party at all. Just different.
SOO… there’s the drama with my bridal shower. My mom was originally gonna plan it, but she doesn’t really have the money to. Then, FMIL and FSIL said they really wanted to help plan, and I said SURE! The drama has come from FMIL and my mom trying to work together… it doesn’t work. At all. Mom interprets FMIL’s strongly voiced opinions as wanting to “taking over the bridal shower” and that her right as my mom to plan the thing is being taken away (tied to the fact that her other daughter secretly got married and doesn’t talk to us anymore… sore spot for her obviously). So, frustrating.
Last week my mom got emotional and said she didn’t want to deal anymore, then FMIL got really upset because she felt my mom was mad at her and initially pulled out of planning it too… I got super upset. FI and I were both mad at our parents. Then FMIL reinstated planning, and her and FSIL were gonna work on invitations this weekend.
JUST NOW I found out that after going shopping for a few hours, FFIL was giving FMIL a hard time about not working on invitations and insulted her by saying she was like my mom. FMIL then cussed out FFIL, FFIL left the house and hasn’t been back yet. It’s just all stupid craziness and it’s centered around something that’s supposed to be fun for me and I’m just sick and tired of it. FI and I are trying to help as much as we can, and I’m trying to get my other bridesmaids involved as much as possible, but this is just stupid immaturity on everyone’s part, especially my mom. If my mom hadn’t overanalyzed something at the beginning then some of this would have been avoided…. gahh. It makes me want to either plan the stupid party myself or not have one :(. Sure makes me worry about our families ever getting along at either the shower, the wedding, or in the future. I just want everyone to get along 🙁 I mean I love my FILs and my mom, I love them both, each has their own issues but FI and I do too. That’s just people.
I’ve lived around stupid immature drama with a clinically insane roomate and a sociopath for a father and I just want something happy like a wedding or a bridal shower to be drama free. Sigh.