Post # 1
Hi ladies my bridal shower is this saturday and well i told my soon mother in law that i didnt want to register anywhere and well she did it for me and picked things for me behind my back and didnt want me to know and all this stuff i have. I posted a post a few weeks ago about it under emotional. I am really hoping i can return this stuff. Anyways i am not kind of not looking forward to it because of this anger i have with her. The other problem is she planned the shower for me and didnt want any help from my bridesmaids and now she told me they need to be there 2 hours to help set up. She is basically treating them like slaves and i feel really bad about it. The other problem is she is planning on my soon to be hubby to be there and he said there is no way in hell that he is going to a bridal shower and he doesnt plan on telling her that. So i am afaid that me and my friends will hear her blow up for it and we will get blamed. I dont know what to do!
Post # 3
First off, I would tell your FI to grow a pair and talk to his mother like an adult. He can’t make you the bad person in all of this. Doesn’t he care how uncomfortable you will be if he does this? Second, as far as the registering goes, that is odd and I hoope you can return what you don’t want as well. What exactly did she pick out? Why didn’t you register if you were having a shower?
Post # 4
I am sorry for your troubles… *hugs* You should be able to return everything. I would close the registry ASAP. Get access to it and delete everything from it. I would be so mad if it were me.
As for the girls being slaves. Have you talked to them. Apologize to them, after the party talk to your FMIL…
And as for the boy not going… try and get him to drop you off and then leave.. that way it itsnt “all your fault” I know that it kinda pushes the blame onto him, but its his mom, he needs to talk to her….
Post # 5
Ive tried to delate them but since it isnt under my address and i dont know the password they will not let me even though i am the bride and he is the groom.
The reason i didnt register is because i have almost everything we need that you get at a bridal shower. She picked out stuff she knows i have and stuff she knows i didnt want. We didnt want to register because we wanted to get a new bedroom set and wanted to wait until after the wedding to see if we can afford it or not. I had no idea that i was having a bridal shower until the invites were sent out.
As far as my man, yeah ive told him this and he wont stand up to her for some odd reason, He doesnt like conflict. Anyways i am going to go with my bridesmaids to the shower local and then i wll be getting my hair done until the shower. My junior bridesmaid my soon to be mother in law wants her to be there early to set up. The problem is well to make a long story short my mans dad got married and has other kids now and his wife cant stand my mans mom.
Ive talked to them about it and they understand and they told me not to be sorry about it. My one bridesmaid said she is going to go off on his mom if she says one word out of line to her about my man not being there.
Post # 6
Wow. That is a lot. I’m sorry your FI won’t step up to talk to his mom. Sounds like that is something unlikely to change. Which means in the future, you will have to take that role – to step up to her when it comes to raising kids, or family vacations, or whatever other troublesome family hiccups arise in the future. Therefore, I suggest you try to talk to your FMIL directly. Explain to her your frusterations about her registering behind your back, your wishes to not have a registry, and your plans to buy things too large for the registry in the future. Now, whether or not this is a good idea to do before the shower, I’m not so sure. I would probably go to the shower, be gracious to all the guests who may be completely clueless to your FMIL doing the registering for you. The guests are probably in the mind set that they are following YOUR registry. Then, after the shower is over, I would talk to your FMIL. But what a horribly sticky situation.
Post # 7
Good on your bridesmaid who plans to stick up for you!
I would simply hire a couple of high school girls, pay them in advance, and have them show up at evil MIL’s house two hours early to help set up.
You and bm’s all show up on time for the party only.
Leave when it’s over – let Miss Control Everyboy and Everything clean up.
Pay for them with FI’s money. It’s his high-maintenance mother, not yours.
Remember: when you have kids, you will be the Sole Gatekeeper for Access to them. If she doesnt’ treat you well, she doesn’t get access to the kids.
If she gets too evil before the wedding, let her know your policy now.
HUGS and good luck to you!