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I def. think you can have some say. My FMIL is hosting mine and I asked that it not be a surprise, but that's my only "demand" lol.
My personal opinion is to ask friends/family to go to NYC for a bridal shower when the wedding is in upstate isn't being considerate to your guests. Plus in NYC you will not get anything for the $25-30 you're thinking about. Besides the meal, and the gift, they will have to pay for transporation and parking.
A bachelorette party is one thing in NYC; a shower is another. I would see if there are any cute tea parlors or Russian tea rooms in the area, I don't know of any, but I've never looked. Local colleges all have faculty lounges and rooms to rent. What about your local high school? That would be really different? Your local college? If nana is in an assisted living [NOT nursing home!] with a spacious lovely community, living or banquet room, why not use their community room? Nana can say she is hosting it, which she would be if it were in her community room. Some of these places, to entice the children who send their parents there, have lucious dining and elaborate sitting areas!! I've seen some with chandeliers, servers w/black and white tux's, and that serve shrimp under glass to residents!!
Check the yellow pages and start at A for restaurants. Make your shower a statement; rather than the ho hum.
I think you need to think outside the box on this one. What would be different, fun, and not wedding factory?
Renting out a diner for the evening would be cute. You could serve burgers and fries, milk shakes, or ice cream sundaes.
The bottom line, to be crude is that if people have to pay big bucks and spend a great deal of time to get to the shower, they will either not attend or attend and give you a gift which factors in their expenses! Trust me on this.
Surprise everyone in your 'group' and put the brakes on keeping up with Joneses. Be the Joneses. Think seriously about it.
Do you mean the shower is upstate, but the people planning are in NYC? Or the other way around?
I once went to a bridal shower at Emma Willard in Troy (yes the boarding school) and it was gorgeous!! I don't know if they just rented the room or if they did the food too, but seriously the building was beautiful. The Stockade Inn in Schenectady is lovely. Saratoga National has some $30ish options for brunches. And I'm not supposed to know this, but I think my shower is being held at the Edison Club in Rexford... which is a nicer venue than my wedding venue. My sister (MOH) is kind of an overachiever :)
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Ladies please tell me I'm not alone! Everyone I know is getting married, thus, having a bridal shower. I've been to so many nice ones, I wanna have a nice one too! This is not a competition... per se. Just keepin up with the Jones'.
My friends and family that would be taking care of the party aren't even in the area it'll be in, the good old NYC. So, does anyone have any suggestions as to where to hold this bash? Ok... not a "bash", we're keeping it classy, and we're on a budget (of which I don't know but I'd say liiiiike, $25-30 a person, and I'm thinkin' there'd be around 40 people).
I know I'm the bride, I'm not supposed to be planning, but I can have SOME say... can't I? Ideally I'd like a really nice space, that's the biggest thing. There have to be spots where I can just rent a space, no? I mean the meal is secondary because the cooks in the fam can fill in those blanks. H-E-L-P lol (that was a bit dramatic, no SOS yet)