Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids has offered to throw me a bridal shower in the city where she and I live. Its a very generous offer and I truly appreciate it – but the problem is, I am only inviting her and one other woman from this area to the wedding! I have friends from work who I could invite, but my Fiance and I have decided not to invite any colleagues to the wedding (that would be adding another 30-ish people to the guest list which we cannot afford), and I know that to according to etiquette rules, only those invited to the wedding should be invited to a shower.
I’ve tried explaining this to her, but she still wants to throw a shower. I’ve suggested a coed shower, or just doing something special together, but she insists that she wants to throw a traditional female-only shower.
Any suggestions? I’m stumped as to how to proceed… Thanks for your help!
Post # 3
I think you should be firm in your decision. Tell her you are watching your wedding budget during this recession, and it has forced you to put a limit on your guest list. Thus deeming it inappropriate to invite the women in the area who won’t be attending the wedding.
If she still remains persistent….maybe if more girls are in town a few days before your wedding (i.e. other bridesmaids, family, etc), she could consider hosting it then.
Post # 4
I think you should tell her directly that you don’t want the traditional shower. Maybe you guys can plan a nice spa weekend together? That sounds like so much fun! And the co-ed idea sounds fun too. If she’s still insistent, then I’d suggest she plan a shower in a location more people can travel to, maybe set up accommodations for Out of Town shower guests? It seems like a bit much though. In the end, if you’re firm about what you want, she really shouldn’t insist on going against it.
Post # 5
The wedding is actually in another city 8 hours away (where my family is from) and my bridesmaids are scattered across the country, so she can’t host anything beforehand.
She knows and understands our guest list limits, but is still determined to throw a shower. I just feel bad saying no outright. But I guess I may have to.
Post # 6
Stand your ground and tell her thank you but NO final answer!