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Bridal Shower Etiquette

posted 2 months ago in Beehive

One of my bridesmaid's mothers is throwing my bridal shower. We are very close (she considers me as another daughter basically), and I know she will do a great job. The question I have is this: She has a few very close friends who I know, but not well enough to invitie to the wedding. I like them all, but because they are not invited to the wedding, I would not normally invite them to the shower (for etiquette reasons). My friend's mother insists that they come (which I abousolutely do not mind because I really do like them), but although I'm pretty sure they know they are not being invited to the wedding, I wouldn't want them to think I was rude. She just insists that they would want to come and bring a gift becasue those are just the type of people they are. Do you think this will be totally tacky?

posted by bree72 83 posts 2 months ago

You aren't the one sending out the invites- the hostess is.  So, if she wants to include her friends then I think it's OK.

 

posted by rosychicklet 301 posts 2 months ago

I wouldn't personally invite them. BUT, if your friend is the one throwing the shower, and therefore doing the inviting, and she wants to invite them than I think it's fine. If you think they know they are not invited to the wedding then they can decide for themselves if they want to come to the shower or not!

posted by MsB 211 posts 2 months ago

I think for my friend's shower, her FMIL's friends were invited as a way of celebrating the marriage. They weren't close enough for wedding invites, but wanted to do something since their friend's son was getting married. I think as long as the women who don't make the wedding list know, they're probably ok.

posted by proBM2008 50 posts 2 months ago

If you can't invite them to the wedding it would be a nice idea to send them a wedding anouncement afterwards so they have a keepsake.

posted by snmcdowell 467 posts 2 months ago

We are having a shower in Houston where I will basically know no one- except his immediate family. So no, they aren't invited to the wedding, but his mother insists on the shower! But I really like the idea of sending out a wedding announcement afterwards! Good call!!

posted by KSW 28 posts 2 months ago

We ended up having a few people over who were not invited to the wedding, but were invited to a more inclusive reception (a dance party on another day for our larger circle of friends).  I snmcdowell has a great suggestion of sending some sort of keepsake/announcement in addition to a thank you. :)

posted by missm 483 posts 2 months ago

I think in this case it's ok. I find that it happens a lot in the South where I'm from. Mother's and MIL's friends were pretty common at all of our wedding showers, but most were not at the weddings. It's probably just a thing they want to share with her. Have fun!

posted by KateMW 483 posts 2 months ago

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