Weddingbee boards

  After meeting with my mom and aunts this weekend, we chose a date in April for my wedding shower. My dad's side of the family is going to have another shower for me that same weekend. This is mainly because my MOH (my little sister) lives 2,000 miles away, so this way, she could attend both.

  I sent out an e-mail to my bridesmaids, letting them know of shower dates. Four of my five bridesmaids live at least two hours away, with two of them (the aforementioned sister and my old college roommate) would require flights to be here. I sent them a message that it looks like shower dates would be this weekend in April. I told them that I completely understand if they can't make either shower or only one of them, with travel costs, work schedules, and life in general.

  Now, after sending it, I received one phone call from a bridesmaid (who is a family member), wanting me to call her back. I could be assuming something, but I'm hoping I didn't offend anybody with my message. I wanted to add in there that I would not expect them to bring a gift to each shower (that is ridiculous!), that their presence is more than enough. I didn't know how to eloquently say that.

  I'm hoping I didn't step on anyone's toes. I know I probably should have waited for invitations to go out. However, with travel plans and everything, I wanted to let them know about dates ASAP.

  I also didn't know if the bridesmaids only come to one shower or more than one. All but one of my bridesmaids are married, and I was in all of their weddings. With some of them, I went to one shower, and others, I went to more than one.

  Any advice, etiquette related or other? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I definitely understand that it is expensive to be a bridesmaid, and especially with the added in travel costs, I don't want my girls to think that I'm being overbearing.

@keepsmiling19:  It sounds like you're being very careful to take into consideration their point of view, costs, etc. The only thing I would suggest is that you no longer handle being the point person for your own showers. If people call with further questions or what have you, defer to your point person per shower. Tell them you don't know, but you will have so-and-so get back to them and have them follow-up immediately. Have someone else who is hosting be appointed to informing everyone of these details. It will take you out of the middle where potential feelings can get hurt, and take the pressure off of you and where it should be -- on the person hosting. ;) This way, if anything is questionable or of concern, your friends can contact the hostess directly and it will be more...business-like? Less prone to ruffling feathers of the friendships? Good luck!

I live 6 hours from family and it's wonderful and much appreciated to get advance notice of dates and times so I can make plans. Even if I have to travel, I still like being invited.  Advance notice is great so your OOT guests can more easily plan to attend. Very thoughtful of you!

  Thanks everyone!

  I just talked to the bridesmaid who called. Everything is good, I am just a big worrier. I'm good at blowing EVERYTHING out of proportion. That's why I love the Bee...you girls keep it real :-).