Post # 1
i ran into some major issues around my baby shower with my future MIL. long story short..she invited all her friends, and her friends daughters. Now..they are on my wedding guest list…as I was invited to all her friends daughters weddings…but not their showers. what do i do? Do i invite them? Do i just invite their mom’s who are very close friends with my future MIL? Or do I just stick to the "the shower is for my friends, etc." and not invite any of them?
Post # 3
Baby shower or bridal shower?
I’ve heard of MIL’s friends being invited, but never their daughters. I think it all depends on how close you are with your MIL, and what the protocol is for HER. And it also depends on who is throwing the shower.
If it were me, I would speak to your FMIL. I would definitely invite her close friends– I think that a shower is a good way to get to know them a little more before the wedding if you don’t know them that well. I think you could draw the line at inviting their daughters if you don’t know them and if you’d prefer to keep the shower small. I would especially consider doing this if the shower is being thrown by my bridesmaids (more people usually means an added expense for them). If your FMIL says that she wold really like both her friends AND their daughters invited, because that is always what has been done in the past, I would probably compromise in this case & just go with the flow, IF adding these people won’t cause too much of an extra cost or burden. You don’t want to put your FMIL in a position where she is the only one out of her friends who hasn’t invited her friends & their daughters. If she is just inviting them to invite, and you weren’t invited to all of the daughters’ showers and you can’t justify the cost of having them at the shower (or really don’t want them there), then I wouldn’t feel obligated.
Also, is your FMIL close to these friends’ daughters? Because its one thing if she doesn’t know them all that well, but another if she watched them grow up and is super close to them, or if your FI and his siblings grew up with them.
I know that my mom invited her friend & her friend’s daughter to my brother’s wife’s shower (so in this case, my mom was the FMIL, and invited a friend & friend’s daugther to the shower), but it was only one friend and one daughter and that was because they were best family friends and the friend’s daughter was the same age as my brother and they grew up together.
Post # 4
Unless your MIL is footing the bill for all those extra people, I would probably tell her that she needs to weed out some of the guests because you can’t have all of them- let her decide if it’s all her friends and none of their daughters or some of her friends and some of their daughters.
Post # 5
who’s throwing your shower? i think you should discuss it with that person. if it’s your FMIL i think you gotta suck this one up, unfortunately.