Post # 1
Good morning all!
So…my Mom and bridal party have started planning my bridal shower. My FMIL had expressed interest in being involved so my mom invited her to the restaurant they were looking at booking to have an afternoon tea and meet with the event planner.
Just a side note- all of my BMs are out of town so my Mom offerred to doing the scouting of local places.
At bridal showers on my side of the family, it’s usually just family and close friends, not every single female invited to the wedding. When my mom mentioned this to FMIL, FMIL couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to invite everyone- including co-workers’ spouses that I’ve only met once and random wives of FFIL’s friends that I’ve never met. She thinks that you should invite as many people as possible for more gifts and to make a big show of it.
Another note, earlier this year FSIL was MOH in her cousin’s wedding and her cousin invited about 120 women to her shower. Only about 50 actually came but this is where (I think) FMIL is getting her ideas from.
So Hive, what’s your take? Do you invite all female wedding invitees or keep the circle smaller?
Post # 3
i voted other– we had a lot of out of towners, so our shower invite list was just local friends i was close to, out of town bridesmaids, and a few of mil’s close friends (she was throwing the shower and was local). the only family there was my mom, and then my now mil and sil. it was small though–maybe like 30 invited and 20 came
Post # 4
I think it’s fine to do either. We ended up having a pretty big shower. My mom was paying so I felt like if she wanted to invite all the women, then that was fine with me! If my friends were paying I would have never invited all of those people.
I’m actually doing it both ways for my baby shower. I’ll have the big one that my mom again is paying for, and then my friends are throwing me a littlier, more intimate one.
Post # 5
What I did when I gave my BMs the guest list was I split the ladies into 3 sections: Must haves (family), Would liketo haves (closer friends), and Don’t Cares (Everyone else).
I don’t really know what the norm is around here, but this way my bridesmaids can choose the size they would like, and invite accordingly.
Post # 6
I’ve been to both kinds. Personally, I prefer the smaller group, since I think the one where everyone is invited looks “gift-grabby.” (they’re already buying you a gift for the wedding!)
Post # 7
I like Ceamoste’s list idea.
I think everyone at the shower has to be invited to the wedding, but don’t necessarily think it works the other way. I want to know everyone at my shower, and I don’t know all of FI’s friend’s wives. Also, our guest list is around 300+. A shower with 150 people would be chaos!
Post # 8
I’m a little bit in the middle. I would say all females invited to the shower, minus the spouses of co-workers, etc. that you have never met. My mother invited every woman to the shower and I was so embarrased because this included the wives of some of the guys I work with (that I never met). I sent each one an individual note telling them that I would be thrilled to meet them but would completly understand if they felt uncomfortable. Basically if I wouldn’t talk to the woman without her husband then I probably would not invite her. It ended up being an invite list of 115 and 95 attended.
Post # 9
I’m working on my list for my maid of honor and have just included close friends and family. It’s looking like it’ll be a list of about 35 ladies. I didn’t want anything too big b/c I felt like I wouldn’t have a chance to speak with everyone and like some other girls mentioned, I don’t want to seem like I’m invited a mass of people just to get a mass of gifts.
Post # 10
Personally I think it would be weird to recieve an invitation to my husband’s co-worker’s bridal shower – I’d decline
I’d say stick to family and friends and perhaps wives of your FI’s friends but only if you know them or if the husband would hang out with your FI while his wife attended the shower. I wouldn’t invite anyone who you don’t really know or have only met once.
Post # 11
Thanks for all the inputs! It’s interesting to see how different people approach shower invites.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
For us, the invite list is every female from the wedding, but that is because our current wedding guest list is only 37 people. We chose to invite only our immediate families and closest friends to the wedding. These are the people we are close with, so of course they are invited to the shower.
Post # 13
I’ve never heard of inviting every female invited to wedding being invited to the shower too. I like the idea of just close friends and family.
Post # 14
I think family and close friends. In my opinion it’s a time to celebrate your upcomming wedding with the women close to you. The wedding is for celebrating with everyone else.