Post # 1
Hi everyone! My matron of honor and I are starting to plan out my bridal shower, with help from my mom, and I was just wondering the etiqutte on who’s invited. My bridal party will be paying for it, so I can’t invite “every woman invited to the wedding” and I want to keep the guest list limited so they are not paying a ridiculous amount. But I don’t want to offend anyone either.
Here is what I was thinking:
1. Myself and bridal party
2. Mother and my close woman relatives (aunts, grandmother, cousins)
3. My close friends
4. My fiance’s mother, sister, aunts, and cousins
5. My mom’s friends that are invited to the wedding
These are the ones I have questions on:
1. My fiance’s friends girlfriends or wives. Some I’m close with because of hanging out, while others I’ve never met before.
2. My fiance’s mother’s friends – again, some I’ve met 3 or 4 times, others I’ve never met.
3. My fiance’s 2nd cousins and great aunts – a lot I’ve never met before
I would appreciate advice!
Post # 3
I did bridal party, mom, aunts, and cousins on my side as well as close friends. I have a small family so this was ok.
On FI’s side, I did FMIL, grandmothers, and aunts. No cousins. I did not invite anyone I didn’t know well.
I don’t know about inviting girlfriends of FI’s friends unless you are close with them. I invited DH’s best man and groomsman’s wives becuase I know them and becuase they are married, but otherwise probably wouldn’t have if I didn’t know them really well. No FI’s mother’s friends becuase family will be there and she can talk to them. And a no to the 2nd cousins and great aunt’s of FI unless you have met them and truly want them there. I think inviting them might make it out of hand.
Post # 4
@megz06 – Thanks so much! I feel as though you and I have the same idea who should be invited, so that makes me feel better. I appreciate it!
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
Mine is being jointly thrown by my mom’s friend, my aunt, and my FMIL, so a slightly different situation but I think the same etiquette applies. My thinking was, it’s a party to give me presents, so I feel awkward asking anyone I don’t know well to do that. So I am inviting: bridesmaids, close female friends, local aunts, and my mom and FMIL are inviting some of their friends. Mostly friends of theirs who I know pretty well and would expect to be there, although apparently FMIL is also inviting friends of hers who are invited to the wedding but who I haven’t met or have only met once. (Feels a little awkward, but she’s hosting, so whatever.) I was at a shower for my friend last year where it was like 40 women from her mom’s Bible study group, and she was literally sitting there going “Oh, Debbie Jones gave me a beautiful vase! Thanks so much… (scans room, scans room, Debbie raises her hand) Debbie!” She said she wanted to die. Anyway, I don’t think you need to invite every woman invited to the wedding, just the close ones. You list makes sense. I think, if you’re questioning it, no one is going to complain about not having to buy you two presents, and just be sure to spend a couple of extra minutes at the wedding.
Post # 6
I would ask myself this: If I received an invitation to HER shower, would I think “Oh how sweet, I’m so excited!” or would I think “What the hell is she inviting ME for? I guess she thinks I owe her a present now. Who am I going to SIT with? God I hate these things!” That will give you your answer.
Post # 7
Thank you all for the advice! It really puts my thoughts at ease.
@soontobeMrsBoo – I laughed at your Bible Group story!