Bridal Shower Guilt…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

What a BIOTCH!

You DEFINITELY deserve a shower!

Don’t listen to her. She sounds like a real jerk!

Post # 5
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If the thought that you won’t need much for the house crosses my mind, it’s because I’m intending to give cash or gift cards, not because I think you don’t deserve gifts.

No need to worry about it.

Post # 6
Member
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@NikkiKillpretty:  (((hugs))) You do deserve a shower! I haven’t heard any remarks about my shower (which my mom is throwing for me and it’s a “personal” shower) but one of my bridesmaids (who I used to work with) texted me to ask about the former coworkers I invited because they were “surprised” that I invited them. I just said “I invited them because I thought we were friends…” Which is why I didn’t invite any of them to my shower. The last thing I want them to think is that I just invited them for a gift! I don’t even care about gifts… I just wanted an excuse for another cake!! 

 

Don’t let other people make you feel like you don’t deserve something! You get to be with the love of your life and you deserve everything that goes along with it!

Post # 7
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

My MIL said the same thing to my Mother when she was talking about my bridal shower (1st marriage for me, second for husband), about him already having a wedding,showers,etc and how terrible it is to ask people to do it twice for him. My Mom responded with something like ‘So? This is HER first, so why shouldn’t she have everything?’

His side gave the least nice (lol) gifts, and it felt like a slap in the face. My husband was furious at the junk they gave me, and they did the same for the wedding itself….plus…they all wore black! (In those days it was really taboo to wear black to a wedding).

His ex did get everything (including 2 houses) and he walked away with an old bed and a stereo, so he had almost nothing in the way of anything to bring into our marriage. If yours got everything, I can almost see why people would think that you two should need nothing, tho, but if they know you and the circumstances, you’d think they’d be a little less judgmental.

I never let it bother me what they said and did, because I just felt it was to be expected. People are funny about giving ‘twice’, and they sure let us know it.

You’ll be surrounded that day by people who love you and want to be there for you, and you’ll have to let got of the rest and their ill feelings. Smile through it all and it will drive them crazy. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She’s out of line. It’s not like you’re throwing a shower for yourself & she doesn’t have to go. Im having a shower and I’ve had my house for 7 years. I dont need anything but some people want to buy you things making this time in your life a happy and mwmorable one.

Post # 9
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My fiance and I had to move into a place together in 2007 due to my parents going through bankruptcy. Althought we’ve got almost everything we could need/use (mix matched as well) I’m sure I’ll get those comments as well.  Yes you might have everything but over time, things need to be replaced! I don’t really care what people think to be honest. You deserve to have a bridal shower and be happy. Don’t listen to other peoples snarky comments. They will only bring you down and weddings are suppose to be a happy occasion. Don’t worry about others think and just focus on your upcoming wedding and being happy with your fiance! 

Post # 10
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

@NikkiKillpretty:  Don’t pay attention to her, she’s just being sour. You deserve it.

Post # 11
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

WHATEVER. This is my second marriage, and in all honesty, we don’t really need anything. BUT FI’s mom insisted on throwing a shower. And it really should have been Fi’s shower since 1/2 the people there I didn’t even know lol! But everyone was so sweet and generous because they love him and because of that they love me! No one was nasty, no need for that, If you don’t like it, don’t come.  Don’t feeel quilty. You are 100% worthy of a shower. Haters hate on!

Post # 13
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Don’t take it to heart, she may have just been speaking without thinking about how it sounded to you. She didn’t say you don’t deserve a shower, it seems like a harmless comment to me. Maybe the fear that people will think you don’t deserve a shower is tainting your perception. Don’t worry about it!

Post # 14
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It sounds like you were already feeling self-conscious about that, so while her comment might not have meant to be snarky, you interpreted like that. Many people from 2nd and 3rd (and more!) marriages still have bridal showers. I know it’s easier said that done to just not worry about it, but that’s what you should try to do. Your MOH is throwing it for you, you are just graciously accepting. Try to enjoy! 

Post # 15
Member
6270 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@NikkiKillpretty:  you absolutely deserve shower, don’t let these comments get to you.

if these women in your life don’t  believe in showers, hopefully they will decline the invitation and not ruin your day.

i have never heard of this negativity towards showers before the bee.  everyone i know loves attending as it is part of the wedding festivities.

 

Post # 16
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

That is such crap – this is my first and FI’s second marriage and if someone said that to me I’d have to give them a piece of my mind.

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