(Closed) Bridal shower hosts?

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Well, it’s normal that she would want to be involved, but I totally understand that you had nothing to do with the planning and it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

Your FMIL should feel welcome to throw her own shower for you if she really wants to host. Were all her female relatives invited to your shower? If not, it’s the perfect opportunity for her to throw a shower and invite her side of the family. Your mom and bridesmaids should be invited to both, just like your FMIL was invited to theirs, and everyone should be happy.

Would that work?

Post # 5
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i always thought that guests got invited to only 1 shower (for the same reason you mention, it seems like a gift grab), but i could be wrong. i would try to get your aunts to call her and apologize — don’t even get in the middle of this. you weren’t the host, so you shouldn’t be taking the blame.

Post # 6
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

My understanding is that the moh and bridesmaids throw the shower and the people invited are people the bride knows.  If you don’t know your fmils relatives and friends, then they aren’t supposed to be invited.  If she really wants to throw you a second shower for her and her friends/family then let her; it seems as if as long as the bride isn’t the one encouraging all the different showers it is okay. 

I was just informed that the people at my fiance’s work want to throw us a shower, they have planned it for a day that they know I will be off of work early so I can drive down to his work and attend.  Only a small handful of my fiance’s co-workers are invited to the wedding and only one of them is invited to my bridal shower — but this is something they planned on their own w/o our influence — so I figure it is okay.

Post # 7
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I don’t think she should be mad at you. After all you’re not the one that planned it. It was your Aunties that planned it. If she wants to plan another one for you I think that’s fine. From what I understand your MOH and BMs are usually the ones that plan it and if they can’t/don’t then the Brides side of the family and friend can step in. In my case my MOH and BMs are planning it but a member of FI’s family got hurt because she wanted to be the host. I don’t understand why she would assume she’ll be the one that plans it when MOH and BMs are pretty much done planning. All I have to do is give my MOH a guestlist. I figured FI has sisters that when they eventually get married his family can host it. But FI also mentioned that he doesn’t think any of his sisters will get married and that our wedding will probably be the only one his family will get to participate in. LoL So mean… but those are his words. I just kept my comments to myself.

 

Post # 8
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

According to etiquette "immediate memebers of the bride’s family or the groom’s should NOT give the bridal shower.  This includes the brides mother, grandmothers, and sisters. Aunts, cousins, members of the bridal party, co-workers, or just firends are eligible hostesses. For the bride’s immediate familly to do so is in very poor taste."

Post # 10
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

hehe, where is that etiquette quote from?

Post # 11
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would love love loooooove to let my Inlaws know about this host-etiquette but so far anything I’ve told them gets followed with an "Oh you don’t have to do that… you do what you want." But funny when we mention seeing eachother before the ceremony and they bust out with "You can’t do that… it’s tradition to not see eachother before the wedding"… Make up your mind! Do what I want or follow traditions. The whole not having immediate family host makes since to me b/c I don’t  want ppl to think we’re "fishing" for gifts.

 wondermart: keep us posted and gLuck!

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