Post # 1
FH and I live near his (large) family. My parents live 3 hours away. I have 3 BMs (two live 3 hours away, one is FSIL and lives near us). I only have one (male) friend who lives nearby. The rest of my friends live far away.
My FMIL and FSIL have asked me if I want to have a shower here or in my hometown. I don’t really know how to handle this etiqutte-wise. I don’t think my parents or the other BMs that live in my hometown would want to throw me a shower, and I don’t want to ask for one.
Also, if we had the shower here, I don’t really know who from “my side” could come. FH has a lot of female aunts, cousins, etc. I guess I am wondering if it would be weird to tell them I’d like a shower here, and it ends up being all FH’s relatives and family friends and none of mine.
Do the females from the man’s side of the family even get invited to showers, or is that a faux pas? Otherwise, I wouldn’t really have anyone to invite. Should I just tell them that I don’t want a shower?
Post # 3
My husband’s female family members were there (cousins, aunts, etc). It was in his hometown – an hour from us and 3 from my hometown. We just had my family/aunts come down and visit that weekend and then we all drove to the shower together.
Post # 4
You can invite anybody you want to your shower. Yes, typically it’s female family and friends from both sides of the family, plus your friends and coworkers (or any combination). Some people have more than one bridal shower – one with your family, one with his family, one with coworkers). In your situation, I would let them throw you one in your hometown, invite everyone (both sides of the family) and whoever can make it, great.
Post # 5
Thanks ladies. I don’t know if I can tell FMIL and FSIL that I want them to throw me one in my hometown, though. I think they were thinking just at their house or something. It would be hard for them to plan something 3 hours away.
Post # 6
@EleanorRigby: Sorry, I misread. If they’re offering to throw you a shower, you should have it where they want to (assuming their home or their town). It would be unreasonable to expect them to throw you a shower 3 hours away. I would still invite the people from your hometown though – some may surprise you and come.
Post # 7
Oh ok, that makes more sense 🙂
Post # 8
3 hours away is not such a huge deal in my opinion. However I do think it’s a great idea to have it where the most people live that you would want to invite. That would make it easier for the guests you really want to attend- but I also feel that if people really want to be there for you, they would make the trip out as long as its on a day when they could make it- like a saturday afternoon.
Your bridesmaids should make every effort to be there- unless they have a bunch of really small children or something similar that would make it impossible to come unless it was at their house- if you give people a good amount of time to plan for it, hopefully they would come- just make sure there is adequate food and it’s an enjoyable experience.
And I agreewith invitations- anybody you want to invite. We had a co-ed party and it was a blast- it was in my backyard- that was all I had to do with the planning- saying that I was fine if it was there. I didn’t want them blowing money on a party space and it was during the summer time. They certainly spent a lot of money elsewhere.