Post # 1
I just had my bridal shower and I feel so…I donno, friendless?
One of my bridesmaids really wanted to throw me a shower (loves party planning) and so I gave her free reign to do whatever she wanted.
Ppl told me to just invite family and female friends to the shower so I had a list of 18 (6 family) I gave my bridesmaid, figuring not everyone would make it and it would be a small fun event.
Last week I talked to my bridesmaid and she said she hadn’t heard back from anyone (she did invites RSVP regrets only). Thinking this was odd, we decided to make a private facebook event to help remind ppl and those I saw in the next week I casually mentioned it to. Some said they were excited/would be there, a couple sent regrets, and the rest silent.
Bridal shower day – I text my MOH to see if she wants to ride together (she loathes driving, even 10minutes away) and she had forgot! She rushedly got ready and I had to go pick her up.
We get there and my mom, sister, and future mom in law are there and of course my hostess bridesmaid. Wait around 30 minutes ish and no one else shows 🙁 My bridesmaid had done food, game prizes and favors for 12 ppl just in case. I felt horrible she was left with all these costly leftovers. We skipped a lot of the group type games and it was honestly a bit awkward. I didn’t realuze how hurt I felt that friends and family didn’t show up and that my MOH almost didn’t come until I dropped her off and just started crying.
My mom (before all this) was very adamant about hosting a couples wedding shower for family friends and our friends and now I am so scared no one is going to show up again I want to call it all off.
Post # 2
I am sorry, how upsetting for you.
I can’t imagine the awkwardness and you must be wondering wha, if you are wondering than I can assure you that you did nothing wrong. If people didn’t want to come than they should have told you they weren’t coming.
I can’t think of anything to say that would make you feel better….
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I’m so sorry. Virtual hugs and hope nothing happened to those that said they we coming.
Post # 4
Oh man I feel so bad for you! That is awful. I have planned a party for someone … Baby shower and similar thing happened hardly anyone showed up. I felt bad for my friend who was devastated… And also a bit gutted as I had put in so much effort. Honestly I would not take it personally as sad as it is so many ppl are just wrapped up in their own lives… Not thinking about others. Keep your chin up. If I was you I think I would Do the couples shower with be nicer I think and you will have FI there for support xx
Post # 5
-HelloSweetie-: Ugh, you poor thing! Such a shame that such a lovely gesture by one of your bridesmaids ended up being a source of hurt.
I’m really sorry your friends didn’t turn up and that your MOH forgot – that’s really just not cool. As hard as it may seem, I honestly wouldn’t take it personally. People are just so busy and, to be honest, self involved these days that it may just have fallen off their radar. That certainly doesn’t make it ok (everyone’s busy, right?) but I just wouldn’t want you to assume that people didn’t want to come and celebrate with you.
Maybe if your Mum does go ahead with the couples shower, she could do a more official RSVP system? Maybe that would whip people into shape a little more!
I’m really sorry you didn’t have a better shower. I hope this is the low point of your wedding planning and that everything is up from here!
Post # 6
I’m so sorry that this has happened. It’s mostly to do with organisation – getting people to realise that they need to respond. In hindsight it would have been better to ask people to RSVP yes or no and then follow up with a phone call and email for those that did not reply in time. Then if no one could have attended on one date another date could have been chosen.
The problem may also have been that the original email sounded too casual and so people might not have realised how important it was, especially if they only needed to respond if they weren’t coming.
Don’t blame your bridesmaid but view it as a learning experience for both of you and put it behind you. One day in the future you will be asked to organise an event and you’ll know exactly what to do to get people to turn up and you’ll prevent another person from being hurt.
In the meantime make sure there are proper invites and RSVP follow-up for your joint shower. This will be a much better event. Then look forward to your wedding.
Post # 7
This might not ease your pain, but this is a subject again and again, on the Bee. People don’t seem to make attending a bridal shower a priority anymore. And RSVPing to any event is like trying to pull teeth. Common courtesy seems to have gone out the window, these days.
Sending you a virtual hug!
Post # 8
-HelloSweetie-: That’s really upsetting. If your mom still wants to go through with the wedding shower, you may want to make sure that she is continuously following up with people and reminding them of the event. Hopefully you won’t have a repeat of the bridal shower.
Post # 9
Thank you all for the support. I have only ever been invited to one shower that was well attended, so I figured it was the normal.
My mom is handmaking all the couples shower invites and I dont think she was planning on any rsvp system :/
Post # 10
That sounds like a sucky experience, but at least a few people were there. I wonder if there was a problem with the invitations in the first place. Did some people explain why they weren’t able to attend? I hope the next one is better!
Post # 11
I’m so sorry! I would have been upset too.
I hope you can make up for it. Let us know. 🙂
Post # 12
The few I talked to before hand mentioned getting the invitations so I know they got to pretty much everyone. Two girls sent their regrets to me after the facebook post with family/understandable reasons.
One girl today sent me a text saying she totally forgot and was so sorry, offered to go to lunch or something. That definitely raised my spirits a bit.
As for everyone else they either said nothibg at all or had said they were looking forward to it, going to be there, etc.
My fiancé s sister even texted me two days before and said she’d be a little late but “def be there”
Post # 13
-HelloSweetie-: Ok yeah your mom definitely needs to include a way for people to rsvp on the invitations. She can give her number or email but somehow you need a way to get an idea of who will be able to make it ahead of time. That and constant reminders is all you can really do.
Post # 14
-HelloSweetie-: Of all the showers I have been to:
Invited 60: about 30 showed up.
Invited ~40: about 18 showed up.
My sister’s shower we invited 70 people! Lots of family, church friends of hers, and other friends. about 23 people showed. No aunts or cousins. Just the grandmas and mothers. A few church friends and like 1 or 2 other friends. So a majority of family did not show (or RSVP) and a majority of “acquaintances” didn’t show.
I wouldn’t take it too harshly (though I don’t blame you! I’d probably cry!) But it is very normal around here for people to not care about the shower.
Post # 15
I feel for you! We had about 50 guests invited the the wedidng, so I decided to invite all the women to the shower who were invited to the wedding – this was just over 20. I think 12 showed up. The kicker – not ONE person from my husband’s side of the family came. Not his mom, not his sister, not an aunt or a grandmother. I was a little hurt. His sister went to an optional work conference and his mom “was at the cottage”. I felt like they didn’t care or made no effort. And to clarify it’s not about the potential gifts that’s for sure.. it’s about supporting your future family member!
Anyway, I got over it (they aren’t a very sentimental family) and they all came to the wedding so I am fine. It’s definitely hard though when a shower is supposed to get you excited for the wedding, not bummed!