bridal shower sadness – no friends came

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I am sorry, how upsetting for you. 

I can’t imagine the awkwardness and you must be wondering wha, if you are wondering than I can assure you that you did nothing wrong. If people didn’t want to come than they should have told you they weren’t coming. 

I can’t think of anything to say that would make you feel better….

Post # 3
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I’m so sorry.  Virtual hugs and hope nothing happened to those that said they we coming.   

Post # 4
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

Oh man I feel so bad for you! That is awful.  I have planned a party for someone … Baby shower and similar thing happened hardly anyone showed up. I felt bad for my friend who was devastated… And also a bit gutted as I had put in so much effort.  Honestly I would not take it personally as sad as it is so many ppl are just wrapped up in their own lives… Not thinking about others.   Keep your chin up.  If I was you I think I would Do the couples shower with be nicer I think and you will have FI there for support xx

Post # 5
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

-HelloSweetie-:  Ugh, you poor thing! Such a shame that such a lovely gesture by one of your bridesmaids ended up being a source of hurt. 

I’m really sorry your friends didn’t turn up and that your MOH forgot – that’s really just not cool. As hard as it may seem, I honestly wouldn’t take it personally. People are just so busy and, to be honest, self involved these days that it may just have fallen off their radar. That certainly doesn’t make it ok (everyone’s busy, right?) but I just wouldn’t want you to assume that people didn’t want to come and celebrate with you.

Maybe if your Mum does go ahead with the couples shower, she could do a more official RSVP system? Maybe that would whip people into shape a little more!

I’m really sorry you didn’t have a better shower. I hope this is the low point of your wedding planning and that everything is up from here!

Post # 6
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

I’m so sorry that this has happened.  It’s mostly to do with organisation – getting people to realise that they need to respond.  In hindsight it would have been better to ask people to RSVP yes or no and then follow up with a phone call and email for those that did not reply in time.  Then if no one could have attended on one date another date could have been chosen.

The problem may also have been that the original email sounded too casual and so people might not have realised how important it was, especially if they only needed to respond if they weren’t coming.

 Don’t blame your bridesmaid but view it as a learning experience for both of you and put it behind you.  One day in the future you will be asked to organise an event and you’ll know exactly what to do to get people to turn up and you’ll prevent another person from being hurt.

In the meantime make sure there are proper invites and RSVP follow-up for your joint shower.  This will be a much better event.  Then look forward to your wedding.

 

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

This might not ease your pain, but this is a subject again and again, on the Bee. People don’t seem to make attending a bridal shower a priority anymore. And RSVPing to any event is like trying to pull teeth. Common courtesy seems to have gone out the window, these days.

Sending you a virtual hug!

Post # 8
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

-HelloSweetie-:  That’s really upsetting. If your mom still wants to go through with the wedding shower, you may want to make sure that she is continuously following up with people and reminding them of the event. Hopefully you won’t have a repeat of the bridal shower.

Post # 10
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper

That sounds like a sucky experience, but at least a few people were there. I wonder if there was a problem with the invitations in the first place. Did some people explain why they weren’t able to attend? I hope the next one is better!

Post # 11
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m so sorry! I would have been upset too.

I hope you can make up for it. Let us know. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

-HelloSweetie-:  Ok yeah your mom definitely needs to include a way for people to rsvp on the invitations. She can give her number or email but somehow you need a way to get an idea of who will be able to make it ahead of time. That and constant reminders is all you can really do. 

Post # 14
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

-HelloSweetie-:  Of all the showers I have been to:

Invited 60: about 30 showed up.

Invited ~40: about 18 showed up.

My sister’s shower we invited 70 people! Lots of family, church friends of hers, and other friends. about 23 people showed. No aunts or cousins. Just the grandmas and mothers. A few church friends and like 1 or 2 other friends. So a majority of family did not show (or RSVP) and a majority of “acquaintances” didn’t show.

I wouldn’t take it too harshly (though I don’t blame you! I’d probably cry!) But it is very normal around here for people to not care about the shower.

Post # 15
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I feel for you!  We had about 50 guests invited the the wedidng, so I decided to invite all the women to the shower who were invited to the wedding – this was just over 20.  I think 12 showed up.  The kicker – not ONE person from my husband’s side of the family came.  Not his mom, not his sister, not an aunt or a grandmother.  I was a little hurt.  His sister went to an optional work conference and his mom “was at the cottage”.  I felt like they didn’t care or made no effort.  And to clarify it’s not about the potential gifts that’s for sure.. it’s about supporting your future family member!

Anyway, I got over it (they aren’t a very sentimental family) and they all came to the wedding so I am fine.  It’s definitely hard though when a shower is supposed to get you excited for the wedding, not bummed!

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