Bridal Shower Scrapped. Need Advice :(

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You have every right to be upset. Maybe you could ask your mom or other bridesmaids to take over the planning? Im sorry this is happening to you!

Post # 3
Member
11002 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Well, you don’t need a “right” to be upset to be upset.  I certainly understand WHY you would feel let down after you had been told to expect a shower from your sister that would have included your side of the family and your friends.

This is a sensitive situation from an etiquette perspective, but you already understand that. You know you aren’t “entitled” to a shower, but, it’s completely understandable why you would have enjoyed having one where your family and your friends could participate.

I apologize in advance if I am about to ask an insensitive or inappropriate question, but is your mother alive and well and involved in your life?  If so, could you talk with her about it?  Perhaps she could help your sister and the other bridesmaids behind the scenes? 

Post # 4
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

 

peaseblossom:  That is certainly disappointing 🙁 I would be upset too. As for advice on how to handle it, I don’t know. You could talk to your sister again. Explain that the other shower is women you do not really know and it would still be nice to see the other women. Also, explain to her that it does not have to be a big shower.

Or just let it ride 🙁 Let it play out and see what happens.

Post # 5
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You have a right to be upset. Your sister is being petty and mean, but if she doesn’t want to throw the shower there isn’t anything you can do to make her. Stick with the shower your MIL throws and call it a day. Maybe when your side of the family heard what your sister has done, someone else will step in and host a shower.

If it’s just getting together with family and friends that you wanted, you can do that without making it a “shower”. Just hose a party/get-together.

Post # 6
Member
4828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

peaseblossom:  I don’t especially have advice, but I wanted to say I feel badly for you and I think it’s okay to be upset. Just like you said, your sister was already talking about planning one and then suddenly not planning one? How could one NOT be dissapointed? Awww. Some people in life just aren’t thoughtful or nice. Including relatives.

Post # 7
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

As someone who lives in a country where bridal showers just don’t exist, personally I think having more than one is over the top.   I feel sorry for the female friends/relations of brides on here…they have the expense of the shower, the bacholerette and then the wedding itself! I honestly don’t know how people afford it!

Anyway, the best way to handle it in my opinion is with dignity.  Let her know you are upset, but make it clear that you are still going to enjoy the shower your FMIL is throwing you.   I wouldn’t try and ‘force’ her to still throw you a shower/merge it with your FMIL’s.  

Post # 8
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Baal:  Not every bride demands that of her party. My girls arent asked anything other than to buy a dress. My MOH is throwing the shower and im throwing my own bachelorette.

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