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I definitely don't think it's the norm, but I know I've heard of it. I'm in the south and I've never been to one that was a surprise, but I've heard a lot of people talking about surprise bridal showers...I don't think I'd want it to be a surprise!
I'm in the mid-west and it's not really a surprise to me at all! I don't know all the details and I'm not supposed to be involved in the planning at all, but I know when it is.
I was told I'm not allowed to know when mine is, even though I would like to. Every shower I've ever been to has been a surprise for the bride. I think it's normal around my area.
i'm here on long island and generally the bride knows there is going to be a shower, just not when. so technically i guess you'd say it is a surprise. we totally fooled my sister, she walked in the room and promptly walked back out, when we dragged her back in she was crying - we had gotten everyone together without her having any idea. i'm kind of dreading the surprise of mine. i already told my sister (now my maid of honor) where i want it and how i want to do it - think steel magnolias summer southern afternoon tea.
Miss Pizzelle...... I'm totally with you in not understanding this surprise business. I'm a southern girl living in the NE and marrying a Northeastern boy. I had been warned by a couple of friends about the "surprise" shower deal enjoyed by women in the NE. (NOT the norm in the south, either.) Personally, I hate surprises. Luckily I travel a lot for both business & pleasure so my FMIL went ahead and told me the date to mark on my calendar but the rest will be a surprise. I think it made her sad to even tell me the date - ugh. Oh well... at least I don't have to worry about always wearing mascara and being "dressed"!
... I'm from GA and I've rarely heard of them being surprises!
I live in Minnesota right now, and they are never surprises here (nor do I want a surprise shower), but in New York (where I just moved from), they are surprises. In fact they go all out. They do engagement parties, bridal showers and the bachelorette parties.
Now that I think about it I think it would better not to be a surprise. I know I kind of knew when my showers were and dreaded going. I think in the future I may not give "surprise" showers. I have seen girls come to showers in outfits they would never have worn if they knew it was the day of the shower. People should def tell the bride she is going to some event where she would know to dress up.
@lynnabby - I totally agree! I bought a dress just for my bridal shower, I want it to be a special time and I want to dress up and look pretty! I agree, I've seen some girls who wear just jeans and a t shirt cause they didn't know, but everyone else is in a dress! not exactly very fair :P
haha yes I agree! I have this terrible habit of going out and doing things with my friends and instead of doing my hair or make up, I just pull it back. haha. So I definitely wouldn't like that!
See where im from we all have Bridal shower as a surprise.. the only problem is the bride to be leaves the party to take a shower and do her make up.. so we always do it an hour earlier just so she can do her thing while everyone is hanging out, chatting.. Im also confused if i want to do that or now.. i think i rather now when its at but thats about it. Let everything else be a surprise.
This isn't common where I'm from. I've actually never known anyone to have a surprise shower. While I don't have a say in where it is, my bridesmaids have asked me when I want it. Although the surprise idea is cute, what if I had previous arrangements on the day they were planning to have it? I personally don't like surprises. I also like to look forward to things, and having a date would let me pick out a cute dress, do my hair, etc. :)
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I have lived on the west coast for 2/3's of my life and now live on the east coast. My FI and his fam are from LI, NY.
Where I come from Bridal Showers are not surprises to the bride.
But I am hearing from everyone on the east coast that they are ALWAYS surprises.
Does the west coast do this too?-And I am just out of my bird?
Is this the norm everywhere?