Post # 1
So I think I’ve made up my mind on the situation, but I wanted to get some non-biased opinions on the matter.<br /><br />My FI and I live together, we have basically everything we need for a house, we could use some updated kitchen ware but eh it’s the least of my worries. There has been some buzz in the family about when my bridal shower will be, and I keep saying that I don’t really want a bridal shower. One, I’ve never been to a bridal shower and enjoyed it lol 2. I feel selfish asking people to buy me more than one present, everyone who would be coming to the shower is invited to the wedding 3. It just isn’t something I’m wild about? It’s hard to explain, but I don’t feel that I need to be ‘showered’ because I’m getting married. 4. Someone suggested having a shower and asking people to donate to a charity which I still feel selfish about, because who am I to tell you how to spend your money? <br /><br />Bee’s help! Is it wrong to not want a shower? Or is it bad practice to not have a shower? My biggest tug with this is that I don’t want to unknowingly offend anyone who might have wanted to host the shower…
Post # 2
If you don’t want one, then you don’t have to have one. You can express this the next time they bring it up.
Buuuttt…Every family is different, so weigh your options: is it better to suffer through an afternoon if it means a lot to your family/your family won’t let you forget it? Only you know the answer.
If you decide you want to have one to appease them, then make your wishes known as to the style of the event. You don’t have to do ribbon hats and games; you can have a shower with cake at a water park if you want. Perhaps, in lieu of traditional shower gift, you can thematize gifts (“bring your favorite DVD”) or you can ask for words of marital advice that can be bound into a book. I’ve been to a shower potluck, which was nice. And if your family is just interested in celebrating another event, maybe you can compromise with an engagement party or somethign.
Post # 3
Like you, FI and I don’t have a registry or anything because we are lucky to have everything we need. Suggesting a charity is a nice idea that a lot of your guests might like, but there might be some who don’t agree with certain charities, and that could be awkward. I think it’s nice to have a celebratory gettogether with friends and family, and you can just spread the word that you only want to spend time together and don’t need any gifts.
Post # 4
BothCoasts: Thank you for your comment! I actually really like the engagement party idea, I don’t know why I didn’t thnk of it? Are engagement parties just kind of like a reception before the wedding? haha I’ve never been to one so I don’t know how they work.
Post # 5
craigslistgirl: YES. I love that idea! Celebretory party, announcing the engagement, no gifts, laid back time together. 🙂 Thank you for your post!
Post # 6
slw0546340: If someone asks to host a shower I would let them. The social aspect can be more important to some families than the gifts are to you.
Rather than have a typical shower, as a pp suggested you could ask that the shower be themed- wine tasting and stock the wine cellar, BBQ or back yard, board games, honeymoon shower, etc
Post # 7
If you don’t want a shower don’t do it. If people offer it’s because they are happy for you and want to do something! It doesn’t mean you have to say yes though. I think an engagement party is a wonderful idea. Just throw something fun, drama free, something everyone would enjoy. A BBQ, a cocktail and canape’s get together.
I have been rethinking a gift registry because people really WANT to know what to buy you. They want to give you something you will love and use and just don’t want to have to dream up something. Why don’t you have some kind of “universal” registry where you can have a board somewhere (is there something official like this?) where you list various things you could use, need or want. A dinner together in a nice restaurant, a spa day, the household item upgrades you mentioned, gift card to the grocery store, etc. I know I would LOVE to participate in something fun like this if I were a guest.
Congrats! You seem so nice and not greedy and demanding. You must have a lot of friends who love you and want to get you something nice!