Bridal shower thoughts

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you don’t want one, then you don’t have to have one. You can express this the next time they bring it up. 

Buuuttt…Every family is different, so weigh your options: is it better to suffer through an afternoon if it means a lot to your family/your family won’t let you forget it? Only you know the answer. 

If you decide you want to have one to appease them, then make your wishes known as to the style of the event. You don’t have to do ribbon hats and games; you can have a shower with cake at a water park if you want. Perhaps, in lieu of traditional shower gift, you can thematize gifts (“bring your favorite DVD”) or you can ask for words of marital advice that can be bound into a book. I’ve been to a shower potluck, which was nice. And if your family is just interested in celebrating another event, maybe you can compromise with an engagement party or somethign. 

Post # 3
Member
6609 posts
Bee Keeper

Like you, FI and I don’t have a registry or anything because we are lucky to have everything we need. Suggesting a charity is a nice idea that a lot of your guests might like, but there might be some who don’t agree with certain charities, and that could be awkward. I think it’s nice to have a celebratory gettogether with friends and family, and you can just spread the word that you only want to spend time together and don’t need any gifts.

Post # 6
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

slw0546340:  If someone asks to host a shower I would let them. The social aspect can be more important to some families than the gifts are to you.

Rather than have a typical shower, as a pp suggested you could ask that the shower be themed- wine tasting and stock the wine cellar, BBQ or back yard, board games, honeymoon shower, etc

Post # 7
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

If you don’t want a shower don’t do it.  If people offer it’s because they are happy for you and want to do something!  It doesn’t mean you have to say yes though.  I think an engagement party is a wonderful idea.  Just throw something fun, drama free, something everyone would enjoy.  A BBQ, a cocktail and canape’s get together.  

I have been rethinking a gift registry because people really WANT to know what to buy you.  They want to give you something you will love and use and just don’t want to have to dream up something.  Why don’t you have some kind of “universal” registry where you can have a board somewhere (is there something official like this?) where you list various things you could use, need or want.  A dinner together in a nice restaurant, a spa day, the household item upgrades you mentioned, gift card to the grocery store, etc.  I know I would LOVE to participate in something fun like this if I were a guest.

Congrats!  You seem so nice and not greedy and demanding.  You must have a lot of friends who love you and want to get you something nice!

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