(Closed) Bridal shower- trying not to be high maintenance

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

yep, the bridal shower is all about you, which means the attention is going to be all on you- regardless of when you come in the room. is it possible for you to get there a little earlier than they want you, but not go into the party room? if you are able to greet some guests beforehand it might calm your nerves? if not, you’re going to need some wine. lots of wine…

Post # 4
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House

It sounds like you’re fighting an uphill battle with getting them to change anything.  Maybe the best approach will be to mentally prepare yourself for walking in.  You could have someone walk in with you so that you’re sharing the spot light.  You can practice your entrance and mentally go through what you’re going to say, how you’re going to walk into the room etc.  Remember that this isn’t a room full of strangers, it’s a room of people that you know and are comfortable with. 

Post # 5
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I second the idea of walking in with a friend. Maybe that would put you at ease a little. I also second the wine idea 🙂 Sounds like they’ve got a plan and they aren’t willing to budge on that part. It sucks they didn’t go with your request, but just think of it this way – it’s really such a brief moment in time in the grand scheme of things. You might be uncomfortable for a few minutes at most. And I hate to say it, but you’d better get used to the idea of all eyes being on you, cause that’s what’s gonna happen at your wedding…

Post # 6
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the earlier posts.  The attention is going to be on you — no matter when you arrive.  Like spwingal mentioned, I would just try and mentally prepare.  Just remember that the initial “shock” of having all eyes on you when you enter the room is over in about a second.

Post # 7
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Could you compromise, and show up after they have set everything up (perhaps they want you to get the full impact of the decorations, etc), but before all of the guests arrive? I arrived to my shower a little early, and it was great for me to be there to greet the guests as they arrived.

Perhaps they could all get there 10 or 20 minutes earlier to start the decorations a little earlier, so there is some breathing room after they finish but before the guests arrive for you to show up!

Sorry to hear that they don’t seem to be listening to you. You know they are throwing the shower out of love, but it can be very difficult when someone gets so caught up in the excitement that they don’t listen to what would truly make us happy!

 

 

Post # 8
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

They probably just had tons of fun planning little things that they thought would make this day special and want to share it with you in their own way.

I think it would be best to try to take some of the other girl’s advice and practice or think about and prepare how you will act. One other thing to think about will be your wedding day. How will you handle the attention on that day if the shower is difficult. Just try to enjoy it, it’s a once in a lifetime exciting process.

Post # 9
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I second the getting a friend to walk you in idea. I walked my best friend into her shower. Although I walked into my bridal shower alone (I don’t mind being the center of attention). But, no matter who you walk in with, you will be the center of attention and honestly, this will be great practice for you before the big day–when you are definitely going to be the center of attention but with more people. They probably have great things in store for you and don’t want to ruin the surprises–and the room will not be filled with strangers but people there who want to wish you well. I think the friend is a good compromise and practice.

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think I agree with the others.  Think of it this way, this is a test run for your big day!  Also, once you walk in and start mingling it will go by so fast you wish you had more time to enjoy the party!

Post # 11
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with everyone.  all attention is on you all day regardless whtehr or not you want it to be.  USe it as practice for the wedding.  Honestly.  Better to be a wreck at the shower than at the wedding.  Tuthfully, I walked into my shower after everyone else (not aSURPRISE! type of thing, I just happened to be late bc I was meeting the priest) and honestly, nobody made a fuss.  They were all standing around, talking, drinking, eating apps, etc.  It wasnt a big deal.  Eyes go on you during the games and gifts, there is no way around that.  Your BMs are having fun planning this for you, they’re excited.  Let it be and enjoy it 🙂

Post # 12
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I felt weird about this too, my Mom wanted me to walk in after people had arrived and I wanted to just be there already.  (The shower was in my parents’ back yard)

It turned out that I had a wardrobe malfunction and ended up having to fix it and got to the shower a bit late.  (I was getting ready inside my parents house, so I was technically there, just not where the people were).  When I walked outside, the people right near the door, said hi to me and I sort of mingled around from there.

Maybe you could talk your sisters into a situation where you arrive late and just sort of join the party, not have everyone jump at you and yell “surprise”, I don’t even know if thats what they had in mind. 

Honestly though, it wasn’t that bad, I promise!!

Post # 13
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I recommend champagne and cranberry juice to get you relaxed for a fun shower!  Just go with the flow and have a nice time – I love being the center of attention but did feel a little uncomfortable with 20 women watching me open gifts.  However, I got great stuff and liked all of it – and me being excited came through in all of my words and actions so that everyone fed off this and had a great time, too. 

Post # 14
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

u re being a really big drama queen… and so is ur sister, if u really do not want one just tell her… lol hahaha and if she really needs to give it to you why cant u be surprised? u do know u ll be the center of attn at ur wedding, right? but ultimately, she needs to respect ur decision not to have a shower if its making u loose sleep I would see a doctor maybe u need some valium

Post # 15
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

Can’t you just make this one exception?  It can’t be that bad , especially if you know everyone already.  The uncomfortable feeling will only last minutes and it will make your guests happy.  I only say this because like previous posts said, the attention is going to be on you anyways.

Have fun with it !

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