bridal shower & wedding gift HELP!!!

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes.

Post # 4
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

Honestly, it depends on a lot of factors. If you gave them a nice gift for the bridal shower and you have spent a lot of money on the bridesmaid dress, events, travel, etc, I think its fine to write a thoughtful card to give to the couple. I never expected my bridesmaids to give me a gift at the shower or the wedding since I know its such a financial burden to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 5
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You should never feel obligated to do anything!  I take whatever my total is that I’d like to spend on them then split it between the shower and wedding (usually 1/3 of it to the shower gift and 2/3 to the wedding gift).  Do what you feel comfortable doing or spending.  I would never expect someone to get me a shower gift and a wedding gift, that’s asking a lot.

Post # 6
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel that you are supposed to bring a gift to both.  If you are attending more than one shower for one bride I would say you could bring a gift to only one of the showers. However, I do believe a gift at both the shower and the wedding is more appropriate.

Post # 7
Member
8592 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

As a guest, yes.  If you’re a bridesmaid in all of their weddings I think you would definitely bring one to the shower but you could maybe skip out on the wedding.  But that really depends on your situation (broke college student is different than someone who is 30 with a job IMO) and what all you had to pay for for the wedding.  I’d probably opt for a smaller gift than normal for the wedding when you have to pay for your dress, shoes, hair, jewelry, bachelorette, etc.  If you are only getting a gift for one I’d feel it better to get one for the shower since that is the point of a shower.

Post # 8
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I recently asked this question as well – in the same boat, a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding – and was told most definitely yes, bring a gift to both, but don’t go above your means.

However, I feel that as I’ve already spent quite a bit of money on my dress, shoes, and so forth, that my cousin would forgive if I didn’t get her a wedding gift. I’ll probably get her a card and maybe put a gift card in it or something, but nothing huge.

You could get your friends gifts from their registeries for their bridal showers, and then perhaps something simple for the day of. Or if you’re helping with the wedding in other ways, such as helping to decorate and whatnot, I’d think that would be enough there. I didn’t expect my BMs to get me gifts at either event, I was just happy they were there to support me and stand up at the altar with me.

Post # 9
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oof.  No need to shout.  Yes, if I’m invited to a shower, I purchase the couple both a shower and a wedding gift.

As a bridesmaid, I’ve followed the same pattern, but if you’ve spent a lot on dresses and shoes and parties for the brides, it’s OK to buy a small gift or just give a card.  People’s opinions vary a LOT on this, though.

Post # 10
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Maybe you could make something sweet for the weddings to save money yet not go empty handed?

I.E. for a friend’s (Irish) Wedding, I found a bunch of postcards with Irish sayings on them and then put them into a nice frame!

Post # 11
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think first you need to take into account that things are very different in different areas of the country, and so there are different traditions in different areas.  However, my fiance was recently a groomsman in a wedding that was relatively low key.  In this area a tux is usually not much more than $90-150  After being asked to be a groomsman and being told that we would pay so much for a tux, the figure was actually well over what we expected.  We are in the process of buying a home and so, like most everyone else in America, every dollar counts.  As a groomsman, he had to make a choice that either he drop out and they receive a gift or he stay in and they wouldn’t receive much of anything.  It wasn’t about being a bad friend, but if you can’t do something, don’t do it.  Plain and simple.  A good friend will understand.  Not to mention, everyone loves gifts, but I love knowing that my friends are there on my big day even more.  I asked the same question as this one on another board…I was ripped apart.  One person told me if I couldn’t afford it I shouldn’t be buying a home, another person told me that it was their wedding day and my job was to shut up and agree.  That’s not what it’s about.  If you can only buy one gift that should be more than plenty, espeically if you bought your attire.  If you can buy two then that is awesome.  But I wouldn’t feel obligated.

Post # 12
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes.

The point of a shower is to “shower” the bride or couple with gifts. That is literally their only purpose. So if you attend, bring a gift. I usually spend no more than $30 for a shower. I try to stay between $10-20.

When you attend a wedding it is customary to give a gift. However, it doesn’t mean you need to break the bank. I would say another $15-20. But this is not hard and fast. This is my guideline.

Kitchen towels or 2 gadgets (spatula and spoon) are great shower gifts! And then for the wedding you can do like a bath towel set, a casserole/baker or a nice frame…depending on your comfort level!

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