Post # 1
A good friend’s mom has offered to throw me a bridal shower. We’re not inviting anyone outside immediate family to the wedding so I figured we just wouldn’t have any showers. I think it will come off “present grabby” to have a shower when no one is invited to the wedding. And I really don’t want presents. FI and I are planning on living abroad, moving a lot, etc and we don’t want extra stuff to haul around.
Would you decline?
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
lorakath: I would politely decline, telling her about your exciting plans to move abroad, let the wind take you, etc. I agree that it would come across as gift grabby, but for people who want to plan a party, that’s not reason enough for them. I think if you tell her about your plans, she’ll agree that it’d be better to skip it.
Post # 3
gingerkitten: I didn’t think about discussing plans with her, thanks for the advice!
Post # 4
Sometimes people who have been involved are just genuinely delighted for you and want to celebrate your marriage, even though they know you’re having an intimate ceremony. If you are interested, you could consider talking with the host about doing a recipe shower (everyone brings a favorite recipe to put in a book for you), or an advice for marriage shower (same idea), or a scrapbook shower (everyone brings a few photos or mementos of the memories you have shared, put the all in a book). You don’t feel gift grabby and you don’t end up with a lot of extra stuff, but the people who have supported you get to feel involved as well.
Post # 5
sassbunny: I love this idea! If she still wants to do a shower once I explain to her my reasons for not wanting one, I’ll suggest this. I also like this idea for the post-wedding celebration parties so (again) not to make it seem like all we want are gifts from the people we invite.