(Closed) Bridal Shower — who gets final call?? Advice plz!

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m voting for get over it and allow your mom to do something nice for you.

I totally understand wanting to make changes to the tradition – and, perhaps your mom can make it a less ‘kitchen’ focused theme.  For most showers I got to, I’ll pick something off the registry I either think it nice or know the bride/groom want… 

Speaking from the vantage point of wishing my mom would put together a shower for me… I’m voting, let mom throw you the party she wants and be polite and thankful for her efforts.

Post # 4
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well, do you actually want those housewares and just don’t want to be the only one opening them? Based on this antiquated idea that people view it as the bride making dinner for the husband every single night for the rest of her life? Who actually thinks like that anymore?

If you don’t want housewares don’t put it on your registry.

If you want housewares but just don’t want to be opening solo because it “might” seem like you have to cook for your husband. Why not make it a theme shower? Something where the gift is non housewares related?

Personally speaking FI and I love spending time in the kitchen together so there’s a whole host of kitchen/housewares I would LOVE to get from the shower!

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think that it’s nice of your mom to throw you a shower, and I know that she has certain ideas about how she wants things to go, but I am sure she doesn’t want you to be unhappy at your own shower. I think the co-ed shower idea is a cool one…even if the guys don’t show up until the gift opening. I think you and your mom should be able to come to some sort of compromise so that you both get some of the things you want.

Post # 7
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I say just let your mom plan what she wants. It’s just one day. The presents don’t change in some magical way when your fiance gets to help open them. Will he even want to participate in gift opening? Not that we’re registering for housewares, but I can’t see my fiance caring in the least.

Post # 8
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I vote for,

A) Need to get over it and let my mom plan this special day for me

and

B) Stop being offended by something that is really a nice gesture and doesn’t have the same connotations as it did years ago.

You don’t get to dictate a party someone else is planning for you, unless its the wedding, lol. I’ve never heard of the shower being a party to prepare you to go to the kitchen. If you don’t think about it that way, it won’t feel (or be) that way. 

I would still try to compromise, but if you see your mom is still unhappy then fold.

Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Let your mom enjoy throwing you the party.  She has had to sit through millions of wedding showers and give other people gifts, now it is her turn to throw you a party for all hers and your friends to give you gifts.

Bridal showers started because not all bride’s parents could afford to provide their daughters with all the stuff they needed to start their own home. 

so it was a great way to transition from parents home to your home

now that most of us already have a lot of stuff, it’s just a fun way to spend time together and get the less necessary stuff that we dream of.

as long as you go there and make a point to have fun and spend time with each other, and not focus on the “gift” aspect as much as the present company, you will have a nice time.  I promise!!!!!

Post # 10
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I also vote for

A) Need to get over it and let my mom plan this special day for me

and

B) Stop being offended by something that is really a nice gesture and doesn’t have the same connotations as it did years ago.

When I think of a bridal shower, in no way did I ever think of a woman getting a whole kitchen to come back to cook for my husband. In fact, my husband probably cooks dinner more than I do…with the stuff we got from the shower/wedding. And your mom just wants to plan something in your honor that is a little more traditional bridal shower…I think it’s sweet of her. And, not to offend anyone who does this, but I’m never a fan of the co-ed couples showers. I just think it’s weird for the guys to be there watching a couple open up gifts. And my husband never wants to go to those either.’

Just my two cents!

Post # 11
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

B – for sure.

I’m not a big fan of the shower, for other reasons – bring on the new bakeware!

I compromised with my mom from a 50+ person shower to two showers – one family and other family friends. I did make a provision that they not be “showery” – So the one on Friday is on a Friday night wine/cocktail shower. Now that’s more my speed.

If it makes you feel better, I vetoed pastel colors and rediculous games. There is a balance between letting them do something for you, and being uncomfortable with something. In my family, its common for the groom to come at the end of the shower to help open gifts and yes, “bring his bride and their gifts home”

Good luck! Enjoy the moment… 🙂 or try to – and hope you get gift receipts!

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