- 4 years ago
Hey guys. Sorry to be cliche, but I’m going undercover so I can vent, cry, and pout over my shower situation.
I have a sister, let’s call her Annie. She was born about 11 months after me, and we were raised in an unintentional, competitive atmosphere where we frequently butted heads over who had our large family’s attention the most. Either way, Annie gets much of the attention because she lives so close to our family and because she is extremely demanding and dramatic.
Annie got married 5 years ago, and for her bridal shower, she had around 40 family members and some close friends (very few) attend. Flash foward to last month, I threw her a massive baby shower in which over 75 people RSVP’d and 60 people came.
Now, it’s time for my wedding shower in about four weeks. My aunts and godmother are hosting. My godmother, being my biggest cheerleader, wanted to “show up” my sister’s shower by having it in a ballroom of a golf course. She says I deserve it because I do so much for my family and with the animal rescue I work for.
I continually warned them that, based on the history of my family, that they were wasting a ton of money and time on throwing me a shower because no one would come. I say this not because I worry or am jealous of my sister (well, I am), but because for every birthday party, graduation, or get together I have thrown or thrown in my honor- only a small portion of my very large family has ever attended or acknowledged my exsistance.
And it seems that it is turning out as I predicted it. Out of the 40 invites, only 10 people (counting the three women hosting, a baby, and my 11 year old niece) are coming. 10. And RSVPS are due by the end of the week. None of my friends can make it. And all of my family are conveniently out of town. I am very upset. Not because I am not getting presents (could care less) or because the attention is on me… because this is just history repeating itself, it’s embarrasing to walk in a massive room with only one table full, and because my godmother has wasted all of her money on throwing this huge party for nothing.
I have been venting to my aunt about this via text and email. I thought what I said to her about my hurt feelings would be kept between the two of us, but she passed it on to my godmother (who is going through chemo). My godmother called me yesterday to stop “being competitive with my sister” and continued to lecture me on how I need to stop worrying.
Besides the hurt feelings and the reinforcement that I am essentially the invisible daughter/cousin/niece/friend… I am now feeling guilty about making my sick godmother upset. Oh, and then my dad got involved because my aunt passed on word to him as well.
I am so distraught. I dont know what I want them to do anymore. I asked them not to throw me a shower MANY times. But because they want to do this “nice thing” for me, I have to suffer through the emotions that comes with being looked over and ignored.
There’s my vent. Any words of wisdom? Want to ask me a follow-up? Flame me? Go ahead. I’m emotional as it is.