Post # 1
Unsure about how to handle my bridal shower and bachelorette party. We live within 2 hours from FI’s family, and 10 hours/2 states from mine. My family wants me to make a decision soon so they can book a place in town where they want to host it.
3 of my bridesmaids live in/near my hometown, including my sister (MOH). They are VERY wedding-y and are GREAT bridesmaids — they’re already planning the shoewr and bachelorette activities. 2 of my bridesmaids live where I live now, but one is only 20 (can’t go out for bachelorette party) and the other would probably not be willing to host a shower on her own. 1 bridesmaid lives across the country and feasibly won’t make it to any events except the actual wedding.
Here are my options:
A) Have ONE bridal shower and an informal bachelorette party in my hometown, with just the girls who live in that area attending/planning. Invite FI’s family (and of course my in-town bridesmaids to it, but not expect them to come.
B) Have a bridal shower and a formal (send invites) bachelorette party in my hometown, and hope that the three bridesmaids might be able to make it there or are willing to take the road trip with me. Don’t invite FI’s family because it seems rude to invite them knowing they can’t come…don’t want them to feel like they HAVE to send a gift.
C) Have TWO bridal showers — one in hometown and one where I now live. Also probably an informal-style bachelorette party in each town. Hope that Mother-In-Law (to be) will help with planning the shower where we live.
D) Choose one of the shower options, but have a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party the Thursday night before the wedding. This would require that everyone try to make it into town for Thursday night rather than Friday night, which might be difficult for some.
Post # 4
I’ll just share what I did and you can take it for what you will. I think it worked out great!
Darling Husband and I live in TX, DH’s family lives in GA, my family lives in IN and my friends are scattered accross the country with no close friends in TX near me.
For my bachelorette party, I travelled to GA as it was the location that was closest to the largest number of my friends who were invited. Basically, we minimized travel for the largest group of people. Some other out-of-state friends couldn’t travel in but I didn’t think it was fair to ask everyone to travel to near me when that would require large amounts of travel from every single other person.
We had my shower the day before the wedding in IN (where the wedding was). Since everyone was already in town, everyone from both sides of the family as well as all of my close friends were able to attend and no one had to travel more than once (since they had already travelled in for the wedding itself). This was honestly by far the best possible scenario for my shower and it was so fun to relax and spend time with everyone before the craziness of the wedding day!
Post # 5
@Mrs.KMM: Thank you for sharing. The only concern is that I don’t understand…so you are basically having two “parties” where you get gifts for the same thing happening in your life (wedding). I already feel guilty about having a bridal shower for that reason, it seems sort of silly to have one the same week as the wedding. Basically your guests brought you two gifts on their trip — one for the shower and one for the wedding? I feel bad doing that!
I like your idea about the bachelorette party though. It truly does make more sense for me to travel somewhere rather than making everyone travel. But it’s hard having 3 bridesmaids in one area and 2 in another (and 1 more across the country).
Post # 6
@Wannabe-diy-bride: I wasn’t the one who chose to have the shower the week of the wedding (as brides shouldn’t plan their own shower). That was when my family decided to plan it so they obviously had no issues with the timing – it was their idea!
And if you have the shower farther away from the wedding, people will still be getting you two gifts PLUS they will be having to travel twice so they ultimately are spending more money.
Post # 7
My fiance & I live in Chicago (as does most of my family). His family lives in FL (the location of our wedding). We didn’t invite his family to our shower. I don’t think they are hosting one for us.