Bridal showers=drama

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

“On top of that, half the guests didn’t even bring presents.”

 

I was with you, sharing your frustration, until this line. You’re never required to bring a gift. Ever. Ever ever ever ever. It may be the preferred thing to do, but when it becomes an expectation, that’s greedy and gross.

 

Yes, they should have been more clear communicators. Yes, they should have helped you clean up. Yes, the beer should’ve arrived on time. I’m sorry these things stressed you out. But it sounds like most of the drama here was their failure to meet your expectations. If the guests and the bride had fun, then it was a success, even if no one brought a present. Try to be happy for your sister, and just remember that after the wedding, you’ll never have to see her “crappy friends” again.

Post # 4
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

That really blows. I hope she doesn’t depend too much on her bridal party for the ceremony or reception.. it sounds like they are all kind of flaky. I hope she had a good time, and hopefully you don’t get stuck doing everyone else’s jobs!

Post # 5
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

rachel85:  I disagree, the purpose of showers are to shower the bride with gifts. It’s the one wedding occasion where it’s acceptable to include registry info on the invitation! 

Post # 6
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Skittles131:  I wouldn’t call it “acceptable,” and none of the people in my social circle included registry info on the invite, but to each their own. I think having a party for the sole purpose of swag-gathering is tacky and tasteless.

Post # 7
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

vanessa7:  I can see your frustrations! Clearly there was no communication and lack of help. The one thing I don’t understand is what was the purpose of the couples BBQ shower if you were already having an expensive bridal shower brunch the following weekend. From the sounds of it, the same people would be attending both (well the girls on the sunday brunch) If I were invited to 2 showers for the same person I’d only bring 1 gift and attend both events if I were in the wedding party. Was this couples BBQ wedding party only or were there other guests on top of that? Either way try not to dwell on it too much and just try to move forward and enjoy the brunch on Sunday!

Post # 8
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

rachel85:  The purpose of a shower is to ” show” the couple with gifts so it is odd to come to a gift giving event empty handed.

Post # 9
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

mixtapehearts:  It might be a regional thing, but where I come from it’s about “showering” the bride in “wisdom” – bridal showers tend to mostly aunts and lady cousins and the family matriarchs, there to eat brownies and drink champagne and talk about married life. Celebrating womanhood and brideliness, and maybe some naughty stories. I’m a big believer in the “unless it’s a stated fundraiser, you’re always allowed to not bring a gift” rule. But I may be alone on that one.

Post # 10
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s not odd to come to a shower with no gift when there are two showers.

Post # 12
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

vanessa7:  How can you say “it’s lame to HAVE to buy two shower presents and then a wedding present a few weeks later” and say it’s not greed as well? Maybe her friends naively thought that the shower was about celebrating the love between your sister and her FI and her upcoming wedding, not about fundraising for their future?

rachel85:  + 1

Post # 14
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

vanessa7:  Honestly I don’t think a couples’ shower is necessary, and I wonder if people got “gift fatigue” or “party fatigue” – too many parties and/or gift events for the couple. (I don’t think I’ve given 3 gifts in total, ever, for any wedding, not even for my best friend or my siblings). Guys are included in other events, like the bachelor party.

But what’s done is done. The people organising it flaked out, and I’m guessing that includes the people who thought a couples’ shower would be a good idea. It sounds like the event organised by you will run much better, and that’s all you need concern yourself with. Don’t lose sleep over an event which wasn’t your responsibility.

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