Post # 1
Kinda confused about what a bridal shower actually is. Just an excuse to get gifts?? Do you register? Is it greedy? We are going to have an engagement party about a year out from the big day. Is it too much? I wan tto enjoy this entire magical time but not not wanting to be intruwsive to others. And i’m assuming it’s a girls only event right?
Also with an engagement party you’re not asking for gifts right???
Post # 3
Engagement parties are not typically gift-giving events. It’s more of a celebration or an occasion for the two families to meet if they have not yet done so.
Bridal showers are thrown in honor of the bride (so hosted by someone else, typically the MOH/friend/aunt of the bride) and the point is to “shower” the bride with gifts to prepare her for married life.
We set up a registry at Target and at JCPenney that people used for both the shower as well as the wedding. What our social circle typically does is purchase physical gifts for the shower and bring a card with a check to the wedding. Not every region or social group does it that way though.
As for showers being women-only, traditionally yes, but these days it could be a ‘couple’s shower’ instead.
Post # 4
You should register if someone has offered to throw you a shower. It doesn’t have to be for anything expensive. One of my friends felt that she already had everything she needed, so she asked the host to make it a recipe shower – guest brought their favorite recipe and some brought a little utensil or something to make it with. It was very nice. Obviously you can’t plan or host your own shower though. They are traditionally all female but I have been to some lovely couples showers recently.
Usually engagement parties do not involve gifts, they’re just a nice get together hosted by someone close to the bride or groom (not hosted by the bride or groom though!)
Post # 5
My family treats showers like family events- it’s not just an excuse to buy giftf for the couple (though admittedly it is part of it), it’s also an excuse to get together and gossip and eat. I see nothing wrong with showers because of how I was brought up in that regards.
In my family it’s always a gals event (other than the groom and fathers of the bride/groom, maybe a brother), but there are people who do “couple showers” with guys and gals. They just aren’t related to me, haha.
You might get some gifts at the engagement party, but you certainly shouldn’t feel pressured to register for it. You should register if you end up having a shower. Usually in my area people bring physical gifts to a shwoer and money to a wedding. If there’s an engagement party, they might bring a bottle of wine or something small.
Post # 6
@maReeposa: Are you American or British? If you are British, then Bridal showers a big fat NO. I find that many wedding blogs and websites confuse British brides, because they are mainly used my Americans who do things differently to the brits when it comes to weddings, I learnt that the hard way at the start,,,hahah!
Post # 7
I am from Ohio/Kentucky in the US. Here I don’t usually bring a gift to an engagement party.
I do usually bring a gift for a bridal shower. It is best for the couple to register prior to the shower so that people can bring useful gifts. I have been to many female only showers and I, personally, don’t really care for them. They often center around watching the bride open gifts. I find it awkward as hell. So for my showers we had couples showers and it was mich more relaxed and fun. More like a regular party with quick opening of gifts (we traded back and forth) at the end.
Post # 8
@maReeposa: My Mom threw my FI and I a kitchen shower. We already had many things that you would put on a registry, so guests brought a recipe card with their favourite recipe on it, and a kitchen gadget. There were men and women there.
Post # 9
Ok. Thanks guys. I am American and you have really helped shed light on what I should and shouldn’t expect. i went to an engagment party this weekend and had my eye out for a basic gist. So now i’m looking forward to it. i know whomever will host for me will have butterflies all over the shower!!! lol
Post # 10
@rdownie1: UK brides don’t have bridal showers? Why? I think that’s kind of sad. Do they have another tradition instead?