Post # 1
I’m getting down to the wire on my speech. My big question is, are there specific expectations for bride vs. groom speeches?
Currently, my speech is a giant list of thank yous and stuff I’m grateful for and why I love my husband. That includes thanking the vendors, my parents, his parents and our other friends and family.
But yesterday I was talking to my SIL and she said something about how it was harder for grooms since they have to do all the thank yous. But I just figure that I’ve been the one dealing with most of the vendors and I have a lot of things to say, so I should probably do it.
However if I’m committing some massive breach of wedding speech etiquette, I guess I’d like to know. I will bounce parts of my speech of DH so he knows what I’ll be saying.
Post # 3
@canuckandakiwi: ….I don’t think any sort of speech is actually required from the bride or groom, but if you want to get up and say something, knock yourself out.
Post # 4
What! The bride and groom are supposed to give speeches?? We did not haha
Post # 5
Definitely won’t be giving a speech at my wedding…reciting traditional vows and that’s the only time I’ll be on the mic lol
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I think just thanking people is fine. I’ll prob be up there while FI gives a thank you speech, but I have horrible stage fright so I’ll prob just smile and nod 🙂
Post # 7
I just thanked everyone, our parents especially. Less than a minute. DH didn’t even say anything haha.
Post # 8
I’ve decided not to give a speech either. That’s allll him. FI and I are equally good at public speaking (he’s a lecturer, I’m a diplomat) but, whatever. One less thing for me to do. And it will also save some awkwardness because there’s a good size handful of folks who should traditionally be thanked, but to whom I don’t have anything grateful to say.
Post # 9
Most weddings I’ve been to have not had a bride or groom speech, we for sure will not be doing them (no public speaking for this girl!). The speeches I have heard were very short, basically thanks for attending, thanks to the parents for hosting, enjoy the party, stuff like that.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
My husband just thanked everyone for coming and said a few sentences about how happy he is to be joining a family that he already considers to be some of his best friends. Then I said “Ditto!” and told people to use the photobooth cause it’s fun! The end.
I wish we’d said something directly awknowledging our friends who have known us as a couple for over a decade and who had come to the middle of nowhere from all over the country. Oh well. They know we love them.
I wouldn’t bother thanking vendors, etc. You’re paying them, that’s plenty of thanks and you don’t want to turn it into an Oscar acceptance speech….
Post # 11
I know they’re not required, but I don’t mind giving one. The majority of our guests are from out of the country (on both sides) and I really want to take the opportunity to thank them for being there and also give a little commentary about our lives here in NYC, how we met, how much I love him etc. It’ll be the only time every one is together (we’re both expats and our families live on opposite sides of the world) so it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t acknowledge them and give some context since there will be a lot of people meeting for the first time.
Interestingly I’ve been to weddings in 5 different countries and in all of them, the groom spoke and in most of them, so did the bride.
Post # 12
@lolot: Good point about the vendors. Cake baker is a really close friend, so I want to thank him, and the DJs are friends of friends so I want to thank them as well…but I’ll keep that bit very very brief.
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)
All the weddings I’ve been to it seems to have just been the more outgoing of the two gives the thank you speech. I plan on giving ours, my FI is not one for public speaking so I say go for it!
Post # 14
@lolot: funny you say that, I don’t advocate thanking vendors either. However, I used to be a wedding vendor and whenever a couple did thank me, I always felt over the moon 🙂
Post # 15
i didn’t say anything at my wedding. my husband thanked everyone for coming, thanked my parents for all their help and for letting us have our reception in their yard and then went on to toast to me.
i never thought about mentioning the vendors. i figured all the checks we had written were thanks enough, lol.
Post # 16
It might be different in different parts of the world, but where I’m from, typically either the bride or the groom speaks (occasionally both), right after the MOH and BM speeches. At ours, I did because I’m slightly more talkative and less scared of public speaking (especially after the couple of drinks I had already!) I basically just thanked everyone for coming, especially those that had travelled long distances, and thanked both of our parents for everything they had done, etc. It wasn’t more than 3-4 minutes. But I think it’s awkward if neither the bride or groom speak. It’s more about acknowledging your guests.