Bride cant eat at her own shower :(

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would think someone close enough to you to host your shower would be more aware & accommodating to your situation, so I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

Polite me would suggest to eat a full meal before hand, that way you’re not starving to death.

Blunt me would suggest calling this person directly and expressing your concerns.

Post # 4
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think its pretty rude that the person coordinating hasn’t been a bit more considerate.  This isn’t some sort of “lifestyle” choice, it’s a mandatory.

My suggestion is have the bridesmaid who is involved contact the restaurant for you.  If she takes any heat for it I would tell her to tell this host that “I am making sure that Sillyfriut has the best time she can have and others are more than aware of her dietary restrictions.  I am sure they would want her to enjoy the food as much as they will”.  Or something along those lines.  Then I think you would step in if you need to.  I understand not wanting to offend the host, but they are not being a good host here.

Post # 5
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@SillyFruit:  You’re the bride!  You are absolutely allowed to eat something different from everyone else.  Especially when you have a dietary restriction! 

This seems a little ridiculous to me.  I think you’re allowed to throw a bit more of a stink about it.

Post # 6
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would graciously eat the one GF course (which is the entree) and take the time people are eating the other courses to mingle and thank people for coming. Also, you know in advance, so snack before you go. Finally, don’t make a big deal about it (or even comment on it) at the event, you will come across poorly.

Post # 7
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would talk to your family member who is hosting. You should definitely be able to eat at a party hosted in your honor. It’s not rude for you to get an option not offered to others that accomodates your food requirements, it’s rude of the host to not have food that you can eat. If they don’t want to be good hosts, I’d contact the restaurant and arrange for a meal you can eat.

Post # 8
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@DaneLady:  agree 100% – how does this family member NOT know the bride can only eat gluten-free things? And how rude is it of her to suggest that they can’t serve the bride something different? Oh, sure, let’s just have the person we’re throwing the party for not eat. 

Someone needs to fix this for you, OP. Can your mom, sister, or MOH take charge? There are plenty of yummy gluten-free foods out there! 

Post # 9
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@SillyFruit:  I hope someone else in your family throws a stink for you.  If not, at least call the restaurant and explain its your party but there’s nothing you can eat.  I’m sure they’d have something for you.

There’s lots of tasty GF food – why wouldn’t they make (almost) everything GF so you wouldn’t have to worry about it?!

Post # 10
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I would contact the restaurant or like PP said have the bridesmaid do it for you. You should be able to enjoy a full meal. It would be odd to me if everyone else is eating extra courses and you’re not. Seems very inconsiderate to me.

Post # 11
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

What’s wrong with the 1 GF option? Is there another reason you can’t eat it?

I would deal with it the day-of. I bet if you told the waiter when they come around for the orders that you need a GF option, they’ll just do it for the same price as any of the other meals, esp since you’re the bride.

Post # 12
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s not you want different food! Holy moly, you have an ACTUAL DISORDER. I’m sure you’d LOVE to eat the same food as everyone else!

Definitely have your BM contact the venue.

Post # 13
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I would contact the resturant and ask about their GF choices and explain the situation to them. Presumably everyone (or most people) there will know about your dietary restrictions so I assume wouldn’t think twice about you having something different to eat.


My mom has celiac disease and no one thinks it’s weird for her to be eating a different meal at events. I’m sure no one would find it rude for you to have something off the general menu. The person planning may be insulted you didn’t like their choices… but they probably should have taken what you (the bride, aka the person being honered at the shower!) can eat into account when planning.

Post # 14
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@BeachBride2014:  +1.  This isn’t someone else’s bridal shower, this is our OP’s bridal shower.  She is the bride.  It’s being thrown in her honor.  There is no reason she shouldn’t be able to eat and enjoy the food served at a party being thrown FOR HER. Somebody SHOULD throw a stink on OP’s behalf 🙂


OP, it’s not like you’re just being picky, this is a legitimate dietary restriction.  Sounds to me that the host is being a bit inconsiderate, and possibly getting so caught up in the excitement of planning the event that she’s forgetting exactly WHY the event is taking place to begin with.


Post # 15
1715 posts
Bumble bee

The family member will just have to get over this. The other guests will understand why you have different food; it is a health issue after all. 

I’m not sure if you should have the bridesmaid talk to the host again, if you should call the host, or if you should call the restaurant yourself, but do what you have to do so that you can eat at the shower and enjoy yourself. This is a party for and about you, so your dietary needs should be taken into account and provided for. 


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