Bride is paying for the entire wedding!

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: who should pay for the wedding
    bride : (0 votes)
    groom : (4 votes)
    2 %
    both : (213 votes)
    91 %
    parents : (17 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Why are you paying for everything?  Have you talked about it?

    Do you plan on combining finances after the wedding?  If you are, then there’s really no “he’s paying/I’m paying”–it’s all going to be the same money in 6 months.  If you’re not, you really should talk about why you’re paying and whether or not that’s okay.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    For my wedding both sets of parents along with my SO and I are paying for our wedding. Now we came up with that idea by talking with our parents and coming up with a budget. The main thing is to voice your concern, that way nobody can be confused.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2992 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I am paying for the wedding, but I also make more money than FH.But I am not spending more than 5K. FH is paying for the honeymoon.

    You really should talk with your FI about this. Does HE want a wedding? If not, maybe that is why he is not contributing.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1872 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    You need to sit down and have some serious talks about finances with your fiance before you progress any further toward the wedding. If he can’t save up yet makes more than you do, it is possible that he has spending problems or debt, either of which you need to know about. It’s also possible he’s just not very committed to the idea of marrying, and is hoping things will magically dissolve before the wedding. There could be other things going on but those are the first things that popped into my mind. You need to get this resolved ASAP, with the help of a couple’s counselor if necessary, before proceeding with the marriage.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think there’s a rule about who “should” pay I think it’s different for every couple and if one of them wants tons of extravagant things the other doesn’t the one who wants them should pay for them, ideally the essentials should be split evenly as marriage is a joint partnership but many couples have one breadwinner who tends to pick up the other’s slack. If you are feeling overwhelmed and alone talk to your FI and tell him that you want to go into the planning more equally.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think the parents should pay, personally.

    Of course, this is ideal situation, but I can’t imagine having a daughter & not giving her the wedding of her dreams like my dad did me.

    Now, my dad did give me a budget, & I will definitely do that with any children I have someday. If she wants anything additional, she will have to pay.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    809 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - Catal Restaurant

    Im paying for the wedding mostly and he will be covering the honeymoon. He makes way more than me but he also pays all the bills at home so I dont have a problem with it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    954 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    A friend of mine had saved up money to pay for her wedding. She ended up having put aside a good chunk of money so she paid for the whole event. Her husband makes more money now, but she’s been out of school and working longer, and she saved for years (they got together at 19 and got married 9 years after) before she got engaged so that she would have money for a weddding. Since she paid for the wedding he paid for the honeymoon

    In my case my husband paid for the whole wedding, minus the photographer which was my responsibilty. I made considerably less money than him whenwait was working, sowhen we got engaged, we came to an agreement that I would pay for one substantial aspect, because I wanted to contribute also to our day. When I say he paid, I meant the payments came out when he got paid, and my income we put towards everyday living expenses, if you ask him he’ll say ‘we’ because we share money, but if you ask me, he definitely paid for the wedding!

    I picked both in the poll because i think of the options present its the best. I mean, each couple is different, same with each set of financials so there is not one right answer. 

    If you would like him to contribute, you need to let him know that you’d appreciate the help I think. We talked about it before we got engaged, because we wanted to be smart and not run up debt, and we wantd to be realistic about what we could contribute.

    Post # 12
    Member
    954 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    A friend of mine had saved up money to pay for her wedding. She ended up having put aside a good chunk of money so she paid for the whole event. Her husband makes more money now, but she’s been out of school and working longer, and she saved for years (they got together at 19 and got married 9 years after) before she got engaged so that she would have money for a weddding. Since she paid for the wedding he paid for the honeymoon

    In my case my husband paid for the whole wedding, minus the photographer which was my responsibilty. I made considerably less money than him whenwait was working, sowhen we got engaged, we came to an agreement that I would pay for one substantial aspect, because I wanted to contribute also to our day. When I say he paid, I meant the payments came out when he got paid, and my income we put towards everyday living expenses, if you ask him he’ll say ‘we’ because we share money, but if you ask me, he definitely paid for the wedding!

    I picked both in the poll because i think of the options present its the best. I mean, each couple is different, same with each set of financials so there is not one right answer. 

    If you would like him to contribute, you need to let him know that you’d appreciate the help I think. We talked about it before we got engaged, because we wanted to be smart and not run up debt, and we wantd to be realistic about what we could contribute.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Your groom should be contributing substantially. If he makes les than you, 50% may not be reasonable. But he should contribute as large a portion of his income as you do yours.

    Post # 15
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Do you live together? If so who pays the household expenses? If it’s a case where he’s paying the day to day nessecities then it might make sense that you’re picking up the tab for wedding expenses. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    6279 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @princessnadif:  you should have a conversation with your FI about money and expectations.  why are you paying for everything?

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