Bride-to-be fail?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I wouldn’t worry, I often feel the same way. I start to think about it and I think I’d rather just elope cause as nice as it all seems (from really far away i.e. childhood) once you’re there it just seems like a headache and a big waste of money. Share your thoughts with your family and friends, maybe a planned elopement, which I guess is not technically eloping, may be the best option for you.

Post # 4
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@beekeeper:  There is always a compromise. If the thought of a large wedding with an expensive reception doesn’t work for you, but you don’t want to elope, give some thought to a late morning ceremony followed by brunch or an early afternoon ceremony with a cake and punch reception following.

Keep it simple with one attendant each, limit spending on decor- you won”t need candles in the daytime- no DJ, maybe a string quartet from the local college playing background music.

The important thing is that you celebrate your love, be joined in marriage and have your close friends and family wish you well.

 

Post # 5
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Weddings don’t have to be expensive with lots of detail, nor are the only options full wedding and reception or bare-bones elopement or private ceremony; there are lots of options in between.

Julies1949’s suggestions are a great place to start. 

Post # 6
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@beekeeper:  Do what feels right for the two of you.  Soooo many options. What would be YOUR perfect wedding day ?  🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My uncle and his now wife got married at one of our occasional extended-family barbeque gatherings. We all just thought it was a normal catch-up, but they turned up (in plain clothes) with a registrar, and that was their wedding! No planning necessary aside from getting the registrar, it basically cost nothing, and people important to them were there!

Post # 8
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t know if this will make any sense, but the way that I see this is that because not much in your life will change after you get married, it’s really important for you to have a special day commemorating your commitment. It’s totally okay not to want a giant wedding with a ton of things to coordinate, which makes a ton of sense with a stressful career. You’re definitely not a failure! But I would think that later on, you might wish you’d done something special. Special doesn’t have to mean lavish, but this is a big step in your life (even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment) and putting together a simple ceremony and a nice meal (I love the brunch suggestion) for the people in your life doesn’t have to be super overwhelming if you keep it simple. Focus on the few details that would really mean something to you!

Do you have a friend or family member who is good at this stuff and can guide you, or even handle a lot of the details for you? Finding someone to lean on who can take charge where you can’t (and who doesn’t require payment, LOL) could be the key to getting all of this done.

Sometimes celebrating ourselves feels like a waste of time and effort, but everyone deserves that special day.

Post # 9
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

My husband and I eloped! The idea and expense of planning something big wasn’t what I wanted. I am super glad we eloped. It was really special. 

Post # 10
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FI and I recently decided on a small, immediate family only wedding. When we first started planning our guest list grew past 100 quickly because I have a big family that actually stays in touch. Just trying to plan something for 100+ people was stressing me out and I never wanted to think about it. We’re going to have 20-30 people, a short ceremony, and minimal details like favors and decorations.

i feel so much better about it. It feels more like us. You are not alone getting stressed by too much wedding stuff.

Post # 14
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

@beekeeper:  I was not excited about planning a wedding either.. I have been engaged for over a year and it took me the last 5 months befeore I am getting married to REALLY get into the planning and get excited about it.

Here were my reasons of not being excited…

  • I knew I could never afford my dream wedding, all the flowers, lighting, the amazing planner, a stress free day ( so that put a huge damper on the planning)

  • I am worried it might rain and ruin everything as the reception is outside and the really is no back up plan but getting tents to cover

  • Weddings are way too expensive and knowing we are going to spend $20,000 on an Okay wedding but not my dream wedding also made me NOT in the wedding mood.

  • All of the stress of planning, getting the bridesmaids to buy their dresses, organize the bridal shower figuring out the colors…ITS FREAKIN STRESSFUL!

Here is what help me get into the mood 🙂

  • Hiring an AMAZING PLANNER For not that much money!  $2,000!

  • Having the bridesmaid purchase their dresses and had the bridal shower early , gave me plenty of time to write thank you note’s and focus on the bachelorette and wedding.

  • Figuring out that WE CAN have ALL the amazing flowers we want for under $1,000!  Buying vases from the dollar store, flowers from sam’s club

  • The More you get taken care of the more excited you WILL GET!  Get your maid of honor and bridesmaid to help you plan things, and for idea’s it HELPS A Lot!

Post # 15
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

@beekeeper:  Also Have you thought about having a small wedding, like inviting only 100 people them maybe 60-80 will come, it will be a lot cheapers:)

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