Post # 1
I am so appreciative that people want to throw me a bridal shower. However I caught wind of tentaive dates and I was wildly surprised by them. I am in a graduate school Sunday program. The only time I have off between now and the wedding are the two days before for thanksgiving, the week of Christmas, one week in mid January and the two weeks prior to the wedding.
Spring 2014- I will be externing (hospital placement, which means fridays and saturdays) taking two clinical practicums, taking certification and compentance exams as well as taking a full course load. All Sundays I am in class (8-6).
The dates that I was told are not on my weeks off (I know none of the dates are convenient). I really don’t know what to do. I made it well known I had limited time off. I don’t want to be rude but there is no way I will be able to attend a shower when class is in session. (Just so people get how crazy my school is, they even held class on Easter this past year!).
What’s a girl to do? its not my place to tell people when to do it.
Post # 3
JustJust let them know the dates suggested do not work for you and that you wouldn’t be able to attend on those days. They do need to know when you are available as the shower IS for you!
Post # 4
@Jacqui90: I’ve told people and my mom has told the bridal shower planners which dates work, and which don’t. But they insist that my dates are unreasonable (too close to the holidays or too close to the wedding)- obviously if I could magically make a few days off here and there appear, I would.
Post # 5
@SparkleBee11: I love how they say that your dates are unreasonable.
I’m sure you wish that you had more free time! It sounds like you’re in a medical Masters/Doctoral program, I know people who have gone through these and the schedules are a NIGHTMARE. I would ask your mom to make it very clear that you are touched that people want to throw you a shower and you realize your schedule is extremely difficult but they really are the only dates/times you have available.
Post # 6
@SparkleBee11: have you explained that you will not be able to attend if the dates are not changed? If it is too much for all parties maybe you should just cancel the showers. As much as that sucks, the party plannners seem set on having those dates, and those dates do not work for you. you cannot have a shower if you are not attending. you should try talking it over and if they dont budge I would graciously decline the party.
Post # 7
@MsGinkgo: yes! I would love more free time. I don’t think they understand that each year in the program gets increasingly more intense. We are expected to have NO other commitments. my mom and I are going to have to be more vocal.
Post # 8
@trixiesrockets: I may just have to decline the party. i don’t think they realise that it will come to that if they don’t change the dates. Trying so hard not to sound demanding or controlling but I can’t change my schedule 🙁 it is what it is
Post # 9
If they aren’t willing to budge, you will have no option but to decline the shower.
Post # 11
I don’t see it as you being demanding. The shower is for YOU. They need to work around your scheduke. sounds like you gave them sufficient time to find a date that would work best for you and your guests. If the shower hosts don’t like your dates then the shower should be off.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Do not feel bad about declining! You are not at all being even an ounce of unreasonable.
Post # 13
That is very inconsiderate of them to plan a shower when they know you can not attend. If they can’t work around your dates, why bother planning a shower? They have more flexability than you do, and if they don’t want to have it on one of the dates you are available you need to tell them there is no way you can be there.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
It sounds like they think your schedule is more flexible than it is, so if they plan out on a “less convenient” day, you will have no other option than to make it work. They are being horribly inconsiderate and unreasonable, and need to be told that if the shower is not on one of those dates, you won’t be having a shower at all.
Could you possibly have a shower on a weeknight instead?
Post # 15
I’d be tempted to say, “I’ve heard about the date for my bridal shower, and while I am so thankful that you are planning this for me I unfortunatley must decline the invite due to prior obligations! Have fun without me!”
Or just tell them that if they plan a shower for you on the day they want, you won’t be able to be there – and maybe mention how awkward that will be for all their guests.
You’ve done everything to let them know your availability, and they have the good manners to make sure the shower is convenient for them and not the guest of honor?
People have showers, weddings, parties, etc. around the holidays all the time, it’s really not a big deal.
Post # 16
@SparkleBee11: Seriously they need to have a shower when it’s convenient for you, or not have a shower. School comes first!!!