(Closed) Bride Wars?!?!?!

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m sorry that you feel as though it will be a competition. When they stay mum maybe it’s because they aren’t as good at making decisions and honestly just don’t know? This is a special day for them as well, I couldn’t imagine your friend spending her effort trying to copy/take away from your wedding, so try not to worry. If she tries to make it a competition, don’t let it be one. You already have your ideas picked, so you don’t need to worry about competing with her. Also, just be thankful that she didn’t tell you it was the week before your wedding!

Post # 4
387 posts
Helper bee

I agree with PP.  If they want to make it a competition, let them, but don’t sink to their level!  Just continue being sweet, excited and supportive.  Kill with kindness!

If it gets worse, you can always ask your friend “Hey is everything ok with us?  I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve been feeling like something is wrong or that you’re upset with me, and I’d hate if that were true.  I’m so excited we’re getting to plan our weddings together, but I still want us to remain as close as we were before we got engaged!  You can always talk to me and tell me what’s going on!”

I get your irritation re: wedding a week after.  Two of our bff couples did that, and the bride and groom from the first wedding had to miss the second wedding because their planes got delayed on their honeymoon!  Did I mention they were also in the wedding?!  I get that it’s their day too, but I tend to be on the more accommodating side, myself!

Post # 5
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The FIRST thing I thought was WHEW at least they didn’t do it before your wedding! I totally understand the tension thing. I have a friend get engaged around the time I did. I felt really bad cause I was telling our friends all our plans and she kinda clamed up about hers. She too could’nt answer a lot of questions and was kinda elusive. I ttok it as i made her feel bad like I have it all together ( and it sounds like you do to) and she didnt have really anything done. She is getting married a week after me too. I was really excited and since everyone was asking us questions I was dishing out information. Planning a wedding isn’t easy for everyone. For a lucky few does everything seem to fall into place quickly. She might think there is something “wrong” with them because they havn’t had it so easy.

The same thing happened with my cousin too. She got engaged right after me and didnt even tell me. Her and her Fiance had been dating 3 or 4 years and me and my Fiance 9 months. After chatting with them at a family party ( I noticed she had a ring, she didnt even announce it) she texted me “Why did you have to talk to us about your wedding?! you stressed him out and he doesnt want a church wedding anymore or a reception!” I was like thats on you cuz cause all I did wass answer his questions bout our venue and vendors.

my point, dont take offense to it. You dont need any added stress! I don’t think you are over reacting or anything at all though.  we all get a little sensitive about this subject …well a lot of us do ( ME!)

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