Bride/bridesmaid rant

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. If you don’t actually want to abide by what the bride wants, then don’t be in her big day. You can do whatever you want in yours, but till then just sit down and be nice.

Post # 4
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

If I got to wear a dress that I already owned and was comfortable in I would be so happy! As for the shoes, I wouldn’t worry about it. Who will really pay attention to those anyways.

Post # 5
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sounds like the bride is being flexible & the bm likes to spend money.  Whatev. You get to do what you want. Normally I don’t like when brides pick out a shoe but she’s letting you wear a dress you own. If she let that bm wear non-wedges, maybe you can ask her about a non peep toe. I have black wedges from payless that I wore to an outdoor wedding.

Post # 6
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

TBH I would be a lot happier wearing a dress I own rather than shelling out $300 (whoa!) for a dress that I would only wear once. As for the shoes, if it’s really a big deal perhaps you can ask if you can change? Heels like that sink into the ground like crazy though so I think wedges will be more comfortable anyways.

Post # 7
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@geekbride322:  its a bit two faced to me, but just laugh when this girls shoes look like this and shes walking all funny while you glide across that grass like a boss 😉

Post # 10
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@geekbride322:  You did do everything the bride wanted, and the bride has been way more than accomodating. She really has been easy going. Just wear black shoes you have. No need to get jealous or up in arms because someone has “better” shoes and a $300 dress. What does it matter?

Post # 12
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is the problem with “just pick out whatever you want” attitudes for bridesmaids – it’s so much easier to just tell everyone which dress to get! It is an annoying situation, I do empathize, but at least you’re not stuck with a dress in a color you don’t want.

Post # 14
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@geekbride322:  I know how you feel. I was the only plus size bridesmaid in my SILs wedding, three skinny minnies and a biiiig girl – ugh.

Im also not fond of pictures, and I hate everything about my looks that day – I had an ugly dress which didn’t fit at all – think double the boobs, half the space, I had horrible bright white flat sandle things with a dark purple dress (ick), the BM’s did to their hair what I used to do in primary school, where you take a bit from each side of your face, tie it back and flip it? That was it. I looked and felt horrible and I hate the photos, I have none up but those of my brother and his wife.

But really, a year down the track and who remembers what I looked like? No one. The photos they do have of the bridal party will still not focus on you, and no one will be staring at you like you will. So long as she’s happy with how you look for her photos, I wouldn’t worry 🙂

Post # 15
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@geekbride322:  I feel you OP! Honestly I think a lot of PPs are lying about how chilled out they would be in your situation. It’s pretty easy to say ‘oh get over it!’ when you aren’t the one wearing the dress you didn’t want with the shoes you don’t like. Those shoes aren’t even wedges any way! Urrrgh!

I would be really mad about how inconsistent the bride is being about everything, but maybe you can use that to your advantage? Tell her that the (fugly) shoes BM 4 picked out will NOT look good with your dress and that you won’t be able to walk on them in grass. Find a pair of black shoes you do like that are close enough to the bride’s requirements and wear them instead. 

I wouldn’t usually recommend ignoring the bride’s wishes but desperate times call for desperate measures. If the bride is going to be so unfair about these things then why should you follow her orders when somebody else is clearly getting a better deal? Pick some shoes you like and try to keep your mouth shut about the bride’s lack of organization. 

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